Lord Rama & Sita – unconditional love

The story of Lord Rama and Sita from the *Ramayana* is often held up as an example of unconditional love, loyalty, and righteousness. Despite their unwavering bond, they faced immense trials throughout their lives. Among these trials was the kidnapping of Sita by the demon king Ravana and the subsequent societal scrutiny regarding her integrity after her return to Ayodhya. One of the most debated and controversial aspects of this narrative is Lord Rama’s decision to send Sita to the forest after their return, based on the doubts raised by his people regarding her purity. This incident raises a larger question: why, in many cultures, including ours, does a woman often bear the burden of proving her chastity or integrity, while men seem exempt from such scrutiny?

The Double Standard: Women Proving Their Dignity

In traditional societies, including ancient India, women were often viewed as bearers of family honour and dignity. Sita’s kidnapping and the time she spent in Ravana’s custody placed her in a position where her virtue was questioned, even though her loyalty to Rama remained intact. This scrutiny was not about her actions but the perceptions of society. Women, historically, have been judged more harshly when it comes to matters of morality and purity. While Lord Rama fought to save her and bring her back, the suspicion that society cast on Sita’s chastity reveals a deep-rooted double standard.

This double standard is reflective of a patriarchal mindset that has existed across cultures for centuries. In such societies, women are expected to uphold certain ideals of virtue and chastity, while men are often free from these expectations. The honour of a family or a community has often been placed disproportionately on women’s shoulders, leading to extreme consequences like isolation, exile, or worse if a woman’s character is called into question. In Sita’s case, despite her unquestionable purity, the mere fact that she was held captive by another man became a source of societal shame, and she was the one expected to prove her innocence.

Lord Rama’s Dilemma: Duty vs. Personal Desire

Lord Rama’s decision to exile Sita is often seen as one of the most tragic and controversial moments in the *Ramayana*. Rama is portrayed as a king who puts his duties above his personal desires. His adherence to *dharma* (righteousness) as a ruler meant that he had to prioritize the sentiments of his people over his personal love and devotion to Sita. When whispers of doubt regarding Sita’s integrity began to circulate among the citizens of Ayodhya, Rama felt compelled to act, even if it meant making a deeply painful choice.

This decision, however, can also be interpreted as a reflection of the limitations of kingship in a patriarchal society. Fear of losing the trust of his people and damaging his own reputation may have been the driving force behind Rama’s decision. The ego, in this context, isn’t necessarily a personal flaw but a reflection of the weight that societal expectations placed on rulers, especially when it came to issues of morality and virtue. By exiling Sita, Rama believed he was fulfilling his duty as a king, even though it broke his heart as a husband. It was a decision rooted in societal norms, not personal beliefs about Sita’s character.

Why Do Women Bear the Consequences?

The question of why women, like Sita, must bear the consequences of such situations is a complex one. Patriarchal societies often place the burden of honour, purity, and morality on women, making them vulnerable to judgment, even when they are blameless. In contrast, men are often judged by their accomplishments, strength, or public duty rather than their personal lives or relationships.

In Sita’s case, she was judged for circumstances beyond her control. Her unwavering loyalty, strength, and dignity in the face of hardship were overshadowed by the societal obsession with her time in Ravana’s custody. Rama, while a loving husband, chose the path of a king bound by the expectations of his kingdom, reflecting the cultural norms of the time where women were seen as responsible for maintaining the moral order.

The exile of Sita reflects a deep societal issue that still resonates today. The unequal standards of morality placed on women, the expectation to prove one’s virtue, and the sacrifices women make to uphold societal values are themes that continue to challenge gender equality. While the *Ramayana* is a story of love, duty, and righteousness, it also exposes the harsh realities of a patriarchal system that placed a woman’s worth in her perceived purity rather than her character or actions. Sita’s strength, grace, and dignity through these trials remain a powerful testament to her inner strength, while Rama’s decision continues to evoke reflection on the role of duty and the price of societal expectations.

Published by Sunitta- Soni J

I have been into healing since April 1996. I am a perseverant learner and have mastered all levels of Reiki and other modalities including Theta healing, Affirmations, Decrees, NLP& Switch words. I have been teaching Usui Reiki since Jan 2010 and i integrate my healing with Psychology as i firmly believe true and honest communication and understanding of self and others is a essential part of healing. For me healing is journey and not a destination. Self-healing and self-love are everyday rituals of self-care and not as and when we need it.

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