Love Is Not Enough: Why Respect Is the Backbone of Marriage
Love is often portrayed as the ultimate solution to everything in marriage. We grow up believing that if two people love each other deeply, they can overcome any challenge. But lived experience tells a more complex truth: love without respect slowly turns into pain.
Love may bring two people together, but respect is what allows them to stay together with dignity.
What Love Looks Like Without Respect:
Love without respect can be intense, emotional, and even sacrificial but it often feels unsafe.
It shows up as:
Being talked down to “in the name of honesty”
Your feelings being dismissed as overreacting
Control disguised as care
Apologies without behavioral change
Expectations to adjust, tolerate, or stay silent
In such dynamics, love becomes a reason to endure rather than to grow.
What Respect Brings Into a Marriage:
Respect is quieter than love, but far more powerful.
Respect looks like:
Listening without interrupting or belittling
Valuing your partner’s emotions even when you disagree
Honoring boundaries without punishment
Speaking with kindness, especially during conflict
Treating your partner as an equal, not a possession
Respect says, “You matter as a human being, not just as my spouse.”
Why Love Alone Is Not Sustainable:
Love is an emotion it fluctuates. Respect is a choice it is practiced daily.
A marriage can survive moments when love feels tired or confused, but it cannot survive ongoing disrespect. Disrespect erodes trust, safety, and self-worth. Over time, it creates emotional distance, resentment, and silence.
Many marriages don’t fail because love disappeared. They fail because respect was repeatedly violated.
A healthy marriage is not built on grand gestures or intense emotions alone. It is built on:
Love that is kind
Respect that is consistent
Communication that is safe
Accountability that is real
When respect is present, love feels secure.
When respect is absent, love feels exhausting.
A Gentle Reminder:
If love asks you to lose your voice, your dignity, or your sense of self, it is incomplete.
True love says: “I love you, and I respect who you are even when it’s hard.”
That is the kind of love that lasts.
When Laughter Teaches Harm: A Quiet Moment That Spoke Too Loud
Today, I witnessed something that looked small, almost childish on the surface. A young child stood with his nanny. She encouraged him to slap himself. He did.
They laughed.
She repeated it.
He repeated it.
Again and again, slap, laughter, approval.
To many, this might appear harmless. A joke. Playfulness. A moment to be ignored.
But psychologically, moments like these are not small. Children do not learn through explanation; they learn through association. What is paired with laughter, attention, and approval becomes normalised.
What is repeated becomes encoded.
In that moment, the child was not just slapping himself. He was learning a message. Self-harm brings attention. Pain can be playful. Hurting myself makes adults smile. This is not conscious learning, it is emotional conditioning.
From a psychological lens, especially in early development, children internalise experiences somatically and emotionally before they can process them cognitively. The body remembers long before the mind understands.
When a caregiver someone who represents safety and authority models or encourages self-directed harm, even in jest, it can subtly blur boundaries:
• Where does play end and harm begin?
• Is my body something to protect or perform with?
• Do I hurt myself to be seen?
This is how confusion around self-worth quietly begins not through trauma alone, but through misguided mirroring. Children often repeat what earns them connection. If slapping oneself brings laughter, the behaviour is reinforced. Over time, such patterns can evolve into attention-seeking behaviours, emotional dysregulation, or difficulty recognising healthy ways to express needs.
No child should learn that pain is a currency for love. This is not about blaming the nanny. Many adults repeat what they themselves learned. Playfulness without awareness is common. But intention does not erase impact.
As adults, especially those responsible for children, we must remember: Every interaction teaches something.
Children deserve environments where:
• Safety is not mocked
• Bodies are respected
• Attention is given for expression, not injury
• Laughter does not come at the cost of self-respect
What we model today becomes their inner voice tomorrow. And sometimes, the smallest moments are the ones that shape us the most.
Courage Is Not the Absence of Fear
Fear is a reaction.
Courage is a decision.
In 2020, I made a decision that changed the direction of my life. I did not make it because I was fearless. I made it despite the fear.Fear was present then and it still visits me now. Some days it returns like a sound in the background, trying to remind me of uncertainty, loss, or the unknown. But I’ve learned something important: fear does not mean I chose wrong. It simply means I am human.
Courage is not a one-time act. It is a daily remembrance. A remembering of why I chose my truth in the first place.
When fear rises, I do not fight it. I listen and then I return to what I know is true. I ground myself in my values, my integrity, my inner knowing. Fear may speak loudly, but it no longer decides for me.
Let the mind be without fear not because fear disappears, but because truth becomes stronger. And every time fear returns, I choose again.
The Three Types of Happiness: What the Bhagavad Gita Teaches Us About True Joy (Chapter 18)
We all seek happiness, yet so often we feel restless even after achieving what we thought would fulfill us. The Bhagavad Gita, in its final chapter, Chapter 18: Moksha Sannyasa Yoga offers a profound lens through which happiness can be understood. Lord Krishna explains that not all happiness is the same. Some binds us, some distracts us, and only one truly liberates us.
Krishna classifies happiness into three types, based on the three gunas (qualities of nature): Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas. Understanding these can gently shift how we live, choose, and seek fulfillment.
1. Sattvic Happiness – The Joy That Liberates
Sattvic happiness is described as that which feels difficult in the beginning but is nectar-like in the end. This is the happiness that arises from:
• Inner discipline
• Self-awareness
• Meditation and self-reflection
• Living in alignment with truth and values
At first, this path may feel uncomfortable. Letting go of old habits, facing one’s fears, sitting with silence none of this is easy. But over time, this kind of happiness brings clarity, peace, and inner freedom. Sattvic happiness does not depend on external validation. It is steady, nourishing, and deeply fulfilling. It is the happiness that awakens us rather than numbs us.
2. Rajasic Happiness – The Pleasure That Binds
Rajasic happiness is sweet in the beginning but turns bitter in the end. This is the happiness driven by:
• Sensory pleasures
• Achievement, success, and recognition
• Desire, ambition, and comparison
It often feels exciting and rewarding at first new relationships, promotions, material gains. Yet this happiness is unstable. Once the excitement fades, it leaves behind anxiety, craving, and dissatisfaction. Rajasic happiness keeps the mind restless. It constantly asks for more & more validation, more pleasure, more achievement. It does not bring peace; it fuels attachment.
3. Tamasic Happiness – The Illusion That Dulls Awareness. Tamasic happiness is delusive both at the beginning and the end.
This form of happiness arises from:
• Ignorance and avoidance
• Excessive sleep, intoxication, or numbness
• Escaping responsibility and awareness
It may feel like relief, but it is actually a temporary escape from discomfort, not true joy. Tamasic happiness dulls consciousness rather than expanding it. Over time, it leads to stagnation, confusion, and suffering.
Krishna warns us that this is not happiness at all, only a misunderstanding of comfort.
A Gentle Invitation to Reflect:
The Gita does not ask us to reject pleasure or ambition outright. Instead, it invites us to become aware of what kind of happiness we are pursuing.
• Does this happiness expand my awareness or shrink it?
• Does it bring peace or dependency?
• Does it free me or bind me further?
True happiness, according to the Gita, is not about chasing pleasure but about cultivating consciousness. When our actions arise from awareness, acceptance, and right intention, happiness becomes a natural byproduct, not a desperate pursuit.
Closing Reflection:
Happiness is not a destination; it is a quality of being. As Chapter 18 gently reminds us, the highest happiness is the one that leads us inward towards clarity, freedom, and ultimately, liberation (moksha). May we learn to choose the happiness that awakens us, even if it asks us to walk through discomfort first.
The Heart of a Warrior Is Not Made of Stone
A warrior’s heart is often misunderstood. We imagine strength as hardness. Fearlessness as the absence of feeling. Courage as the ability to endure without breaking. But a true warrior is not someone who feels less.
A true warrior is someone who feels deeply and still chooses integrity. To carry the heart of a warrior does not mean you are meant to be tough all the time. It does not mean you must suppress your emotions or pretend that pain doesn’t touch you. It means you care enough to stay present, even when it hurts. It means you refuse to abandon yourself just to keep the peace.
A warrior’s strength is not in emotional armor. It is in emotional honesty. You feel deeply because your heart is alive. You question yourself because you value truth over comfort. You struggle because you are growing beyond old versions of who you were taught to be. Living with integrity often feels uncomfortable. It asks you to sit with uncertainty. To choose what is right over what is easy. To stand alone at times, not because you are fearless, but because your conscience is louder than your fear.
A warrior does not walk forward without fear.They walk forward with fear guided by values, not by avoidance. Softness is not weakness. Sensitivity is not fragility. Empathy is not a flaw. They are signs of a heart that has not closed, even after disappointment, betrayal, or loss. So if you find yourself tired, emotional, or questioning your strength pause. You are not failing at being a warrior. You are embodying one. A warrior’s heart beats with compassion, not aggression. With awareness, not dominance. With courage that says, “I will stay true to myself, even when it costs me comfort.”
And that is the bravest way to live.
Looking at Ourselves with Compassion
As a woman, it can feel quietly painful to observe how often women are encouraged subtly and constantly to see themselves as something to be displayed. Not because women are doing something wrong, but because many are simply responding to the world they have grown up in.
From a young age, women are taught directly and indirectly that visibility equals value. That being noticed means being worthy. That being admired is a form of success. Over time, this can shape how a woman relates to her own body and presence, turning her into both the observer and the observed.
This is not vanity.
This is conditioning.
Many women are not trying to objectify themselves; they are trying to belong, to feel chosen, to feel enough. In a world that so often measures women by appearance, it is understandable that some begin to curate themselves as if they are an art piece—carefully presented, constantly adjusted, hoping to be seen kindly.
What Gets Lost Along the Way:
When attention becomes the primary source of validation, something tender inside begins to quieten. The inner voice, the emotional depth, the lived experience of being a woman can slowly be overshadowed by the need to appear a certain way. The question then becomes softer, yet profound: If I am not seen, am I still valuable? This is not a question born of weakness it is born of survival in a world that often overlooks women unless they are visually pleasing.
Changing the Gaze Gently:
If we long for men and society as a whole to see women beyond appearance, the shift must begin within the way women see themselves. Not through shame or restriction, but through awareness and kindness.
When a woman begins to honour herself as more than what meets the eye, she naturally carries a different presence. A presence rooted in self-respect rather than self-presentation. In that space, respect arises organically.
This is not about telling women how to dress, behave, or express themselves. It is about inviting women to ask: “Am I expressing myself or am I seeking permission to feel worthy?”
Returning Home to the Self:
True empowerment grows quietly. It is felt rather than displayed. It comes from being at home within oneself, from knowing that one’s value does not fluctuate with attention.
When a woman no longer needs to perform to be seen, she becomes deeply visible in another way through her authenticity, her boundaries, her emotional depth. And when women relate to themselves with compassion instead of scrutiny, the world slowly learns to do the same. The change we seek does not begin with judgment. It begins with understanding. And it grows through self-compassion.
When Breath Meets Thought: The Power and Responsibility of Conscious Breathing
Breathing is often spoken of as the most natural act of life, something we do without effort or awareness. Yet in spiritual and psychological traditions, breath is never seen as merely a physical function. It is a bridge between body and mind, between intention and energy, between the visible and the subtle.
The statement reminds us of a crucial truth: breath becomes effective only when guided by thought, intent, and purpose. Without this inner alignment, breathing exercises are reduced to mechanical movements empty repetitions that may not only be ineffective but, in certain practices, potentially destabilising.
In esoteric understanding, breath is a carrier of energy. But energy, by its very nature, is neutral. It takes direction from thought. This is why the principle “energy follows thought” is so vital. Where awareness goes, energy flows. When breath is practised without clarity, it is like releasing power without a destination scattered, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelming.
Modern wellness culture often promotes breathing techniques as quick fixes: breathe this way to calm anxiety, that way to gain vitality, another way to awaken higher states. But what is often missing is conscious purpose. Why are you breathing in a certain rhythm? What inner state are you cultivating? What quality of awareness are you inviting into the body?
True, dynamic breathing is not about forcing results. It is about cooperation between the mind and the life force. When the practitioner understands what they are doing and why they approach breath with humility, presence, and respect. The breath then becomes a conscious act, not an unconscious habit.
Without this alliance between thinking and breathing, practice becomes hollow. Worse, it can lead to imbalance mental agitation, emotional instability, or a false sense of progress. This is why ancient traditions always emphasised preparation, self-knowledge, and ethical grounding before introducing advanced breathing practices.
Reflectively, this teaching extends beyond formal exercises. It invites us to ask:
• Am I living with intention, or merely going through motions?
• Do my actions carry awareness, or are they disconnected from thought and purpose?
• Where is my energy flowing each day and what thoughts are directing it?
When breath and thought move together, life itself becomes more deliberate. Each inhale carries awareness; each exhale releases confusion. In this union, breathing transforms from a survival mechanism into a practice of conscious living.
The true power of breath, then, does not lie in technique alone but in the quality of consciousness behind it.
Osoji: The Japanese Ritual of Cleaning the Self Through Cleaning the Space
In Japanese culture, Osoji is more than a yearly deep-cleaning ritual. Practised traditionally at the end of the year, Osoji literally means “big cleaning,” but its essence goes far beyond dusting corners or washing windows. It is a quiet, intentional act of clearing not just physical spaces, but emotional and mental residue accumulated over time.
Osoji is rooted in the understanding that our outer environment reflects our inner state. When clutter gathers in our homes, it often mirrors unprocessed thoughts, unfinished emotions, and unspoken tensions within us. By cleaning the space, we symbolically create room for clarity, renewal, and fresh energy.
What makes Osoji deeply spiritual is the mindfulness behind the act. Cleaning is not rushed or mechanical. Each movement is done with awareness, respect, and gratitude, for the home that sheltered us, for the year that shaped us, and even for the challenges that taught us something about ourselves. In this way, Osoji becomes a ritual of acknowledgment rather than avoidance.
Psychologically, Osoji supports emotional regulation. Letting go of broken items, unused objects, or unnecessary clutter helps the mind release attachment to the past. It subtly signals to the subconscious that it is safe to move forward. Order in the external world creates a sense of internal stability, reducing anxiety and mental overload.
At a deeper level, Osoji teaches us impermanence. Dust will return. Life will get messy again. But the practice reminds us that we always have the ability to pause, reset, and realign. It is not about perfection, but about intention.
In a world that glorifies constant doing, Osoji invites us into conscious simplicity. It whispers that healing does not always require dramatic change sometimes, it begins with clearing a corner, wiping a surface, and breathing differently in a lighter space.
Perhaps the true ritual of Osoji is not cleaning the home, but clearing the heart with gratitude for what was, acceptance of what is, and openness to what is yet to come.
Why Positivity Can Trigger Discomfort in Others: A Spiritual and Psychological Reflection
Positivity is often seen as a strength, yet not everyone responds well to highly energetic or optimistic people. In fact, a consistently positive person can sometimes trigger discomfort, judgment, or even dislike in others. This reaction is not about positivity itself, but about what it reflects within the observer.
When someone is feeling emotionally drained, insecure, or disconnected from their inner peace, another person’s joy can feel confronting. The mind may label that joy as inauthentic or assume the person is “wearing a mask.” This belief often arises not from truth, but from internal conflict.
Why Positive Energy Feels Inauthentic to Some People:
People who are struggling internally may find it difficult to believe that someone else can genuinely feel hopeful, calm, or enthusiastic. If their inner world is dominated by stress, fear, or self-criticism, positivity can feel unrealistic or performative.
Psychologically, this is a form of projection. When we cannot access a particular emotional state within ourselves, we may doubt its existence in others. Spiritually, this reflects a disconnection from gratitude and presence.
The Role of Jealousy and Emotional Triggers:
Highly positive or energetic individuals can unintentionally trigger feelings of jealousy. This jealousy is not always about wanting what the other person has externally, but about longing for the inner freedom they seem to embody.
Such encounters activate emotional triggers, reminding people of unresolved wounds, unmet needs, or forgotten dreams. Instead of acknowledging these feelings, the ego often responds with judgment, criticism, or withdrawal.
From a spiritual perspective, triggers are invitations for self-awareness. They reveal areas where healing, compassion, and growth are still needed.
Authentic Positivity Is Not Denial of Pain:
True positivity is not about ignoring pain or pretending life is perfect. Authentic positive people are often those who have faced adversity and consciously chosen resilience over bitterness. Their energy is not forced; it is grounded in acceptance and inner work.
This form of positivity grows from a gratitude mindset, gratitude not for an easy life, but for lessons learned, personal growth, and the ability to stay present despite challenges.
Gratitude as a Path to Inner Peace:
A gratitude mindset shifts attention away from comparison and lack. It anchors awareness in the present moment and fosters emotional regulation. When gratitude becomes a daily practice, joy no longer feels foreign or threatening, it becomes attainable.
Instead of seeing another person’s happiness as a reminder of what is missing, gratitude allows us to see it as proof of what is possible.
Spiritual Growth Through Self-Reflection:
Discomfort around positive people is not a flaw it is feedback. It asks important questions:
• What am I resisting within myself?
• What part of me longs for ease, joy, or authenticity?
• Where can I practice more compassion toward myself?
Spiritual maturity is recognizing that another person’s light does not diminish our worth. Their joy does not invalidate our pain. It simply illuminates a path we may not yet have walked.
Choosing Growth Over Comparison:
When positivity is met with curiosity rather than judgment, and comparison is replaced with gratitude, emotional healing begins. We stop perceiving light as a threat and start recognizing it as a reminder of our own potential.
The journey inward begins not by dimming others’ light, but by gently turning toward our own.
Your Subconscious Learns Faster from Peace Than Pressure
We often believe that growth comes from pushing harder through self-criticism, pressure, and constant correction. But the subconscious mind doesn’t learn well in survival mode. It learns best when it feels safe.
When you pressure yourself, the mind tightens. Fear takes the lead. The nervous system shifts into protection, not learning. In that state, the subconscious is focused on avoiding danger, not absorbing insight. Repetition driven by stress may create compliance, but rarely transformation.
Peace, on the other hand, creates openness. When you approach yourself with calm awareness instead of judgment, the subconscious relaxes. Patterns become visible. Emotions can surface without resistance. This is where real change begins not by force, but by understanding.
Gentle consistency teaches the mind that change is safe. Compassion tells the subconscious it doesn’t need to defend old habits anymore. In peace, the brain rewires naturally, because it is no longer fighting itself.
Healing, learning, and growth are not accelerated by harshness. They are deepened by safety.
Your subconscious listens more closely when your inner voice is kind.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 