The Overlooked Burden of a Mother’s Love: A Personal Reflection.

As a mother, it can feel like you’re caught in a constant tug-of-war between wanting to raise independent, resilient children and ensuring their safety. This battle is even harder when you’re parenting with little or no support, and the absence of a partner’s presence puts more pressure on you. In many households, the father may be a “weekend parent”—present only during the fun times, while the mother is there for the tough moments, enforcing discipline, ensuring responsibilities are met, and shouldering the emotional and mental weight of raising kids day in and day out.

But what happens when this dynamic leads to an unbalanced view of parenting? The father, despite being largely absent, may be seen as the more loving parent, while the mother, who is strict out of necessity, becomes unfairly labelled as abusive.

The reality is that many mothers, particularly single or emotionally unsupported ones, carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. When you’re the primary carer, you don’t have the luxury of always being the “fun” parent. You have to make decisions that your children may not appreciate—like teaching them independence by encouraging them to complete their homework on their own or setting boundaries that might seem overprotective because you’re acutely aware that, as the only consistent adult in their lives, the responsibility ultimately falls on you if anything goes wrong.

Yet mothers are humans, too. There are moments of exhaustion, frustration, and even burnout. When you’re parenting alone or feeling betrayed by the one person you expected to support you, these emotions can manifest in easily misunderstood ways—like raising your voice when you’re at your wit’s end. The children, who may not understand the depth of your stress and trauma, might quickly label these moments as signs of abuse rather than seeing them as expressions of a deeply worn-out mother trying her best.

But what often gets lost in this narrative is the silent trauma that mothers endure—especially when dealing with a broken relationship or the sense of betrayal from a partner who no longer shows up. The emotional weight of carrying a family, worrying about your children’s well-being, and knowing that the burden of blame will fall squarely on your shoulders if anything goes wrong can make even the strongest person crack.

Being strict, worrying, and occasionally yelling doesn’t make you an abusive parent. It makes you human—trying your best when you’re expected to be everything to everyone. But perhaps the greatest injustice of all is the lack of understanding or recognition of that struggle from those closest to you and the toll it takes on your heart, mind, and soul.

If nothing else, remember this: you’re doing the best you can, and sometimes that’s all that can be asked of any parent.