Happy 30th birthday to my firstborn.

My Dearest Firstborn

Happy 30th birthday, my beautiful firstborn. As I write this, I am overwhelmed by memories spanning three decades—from the miraculous moment of your birth to the incredible woman you’ve become today. Although time has passed, each memory remains etched deeply in my heart.

I know I was not a perfect mom, and I have heard your perspective. However, I want you to understand that my actions were motivated by the best intentions and the knowledge I possessed at the time. No parent enters this world fully prepared with the answers. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. We learn through life’s experiences, and we often carry with us the programming etched into our subconscious minds—patterns formed by our upbringing and environment. These deep-seated imprints unknowingly guide much of our actions, forming the lens through which we live 90% of our lives.

Healing, as I’ve learnt, is the art of breaking free from that subconscious programming. It’s about living consciously—choosing our actions and responses with awareness and intention rather than reflexively reacting from old wounds or habits. Looking back, I realise that my journey of learning and healing began while raising you and your siblings.

One thing I want to make abundantly clear is that I was never manipulative or nasty, even when life pushed me to my limits. There were times when the pressures and challenges around me—be it external situations or misunderstandings—forced me to change. I started drawing boundaries and choosing silence when it became necessary for my peace and emotional and mental well-being. I know that might have been misunderstood at times, but it was never done out of malice. It was my way of preserving my strength so that I could continue showing up for you all.

Through it all, my love for you has been steadfast and unconditional. You taught me so much about life and myself, more than I could have ever imagined. Watching you all  grow, stumble, and rise has been one of the greatest joys and lessons of my life.

On this milestone birthday, I hope you see how remarkable you are and how deeply loved you’ve always been. Life is a journey, and just as I learned along the way, I know you will, too. Remember to live consciously, to heal where needed, and to embrace every moment with grace and gratitude.

With all my love,
Mom