Truth and Tales

The difference between truth and tale, much like the difference between the photographs in a seed catalogue and what actually grows in the garden, lies in the gap between expectation and reality. In relationships, this metaphor beautifully illustrates how our perceptions—of others, of ourselves, and of the relationship itself—are often shaped by ideals and assumptions that don’t always align with the truth of our experiences.

Just like the glossy, perfect images in a seed catalogue, we often enter relationships with preconceived notions or expectations. We might believe that love will always be effortless, that people will behave in certain ways, or that our own actions will be met with predictable reactions. These assumptions can create a story, or “tale,” about how the relationship should be, often idealizing or simplifying the complexities of human connection.

However, the reality—the “truth”—that grows in the garden of our relationships is often more unpredictable. Just as plants grow in unexpected ways, requiring more care or facing challenges that the catalogue doesn’t show, relationships evolve in ways that aren’t always in line with our expectations. Misunderstandings, differences in values, and emotional struggles often arise, revealing that the tale we’ve told ourselves was incomplete or overly simplified.

In terms of perception, the world outside the relationship often only sees the “seed catalogue” version of it—the social media posts, the public interactions, or the facade of happiness that couples sometimes present. The real, nuanced experiences behind closed doors are far more complex. The truth of any relationship, like the unpredictable growth of a garden, involves nurturing, patience, and sometimes confronting difficulties that were never part of the tale we imagined.

In essence, this sentiment teaches us the importance of embracing the truth in relationships rather than clinging to an idealized version of what we think it should be. It encourages us to allow space for growth, imperfections, and unexpected outcomes, which are inevitable in any deep connection. By recognizing the difference between the tale we create and the truth we experience, we can cultivate healthier, more authentic relationships based on reality rather than illusion.