In recent years, the conversation around inner child healing, past traumas, and difficult upbringing situations has gained significant traction. Social media is filled with stories, reels, and posts advocating for addressing childhood wounds and blaming upbringing for negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. While these discussions are valid and provide a platform for many to heal and find closure, there seems to be an alarming imbalance in the narrative.
It’s undeniable that our upbringing shapes us—our experiences, environment, and relationships – leave indelible marks on our personalities. However, it’s overly simplistic to assume that all the negative traits in us are solely a result of our parents’ mistakes. If our upbringing is responsible for our struggles, isn’t it also responsible for our resilience, our strengths, and the positive traits we carry?
Parents, like all human beings, are imperfect. They’ve faced their own challenges, navigated their own traumas, and often did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had at the time. Blaming parents exclusively for every flaw in our personalities is not only unfair but also reductive—it ignores the complexities of human relationships and the shared journey of growth between parents and children.
One concerning aspect of the current discourse is its potential impact on today’s generation. Many young individuals who may not have faced significant issues in their upbringing are being introduced to the idea that their parents are to blame for their smallest insecurities or setbacks. Instead of fostering understanding, this narrative risks creating unnecessary rifts between parents and children.
It’s important to distinguish between those who genuinely need to address childhood traumas and those who may be overanalyzing ordinary struggles as a result of societal trends. Not every disagreement or misunderstanding with parents stems from deep-seated issues. Sometimes, it’s just life.
Acknowledging the good in our upbringing doesn’t mean denying the challenges we’ve faced. It means looking at the bigger picture and appreciating the efforts, sacrifices, and love our parents gave us—however imperfectly.
Perhaps your parents taught you the value of hard work, kindness, or perseverance. Maybe they instilled in you a love for learning, creativity, or community. Even in households where trauma exists, there are often moments of joy, lessons learned, and strengths built that deserve recognition.
The Path Forward: Gratitude and Healing
Instead of solely focusing on what went wrong, let’s also consider: What went right? Reflect on the positive aspects of your upbringing and the values you carry forward.
What did your parents overcome? Recognize that they were individuals with their own struggles long before they became your parents.
How can we move forward together? Healing is a journey that involves both accountability and forgiveness. By fostering conversations that emphasize understanding, we can bridge gaps rather than widen them.
It’s time we balance the narrative around upbringing. By acknowledging both the good and the bad, we can promote healing, gratitude, and stronger relationships. Parents are not superheroes, nor are they villains—they’re human, just like us. Let’s move forward with compassion, for ourselves and for them, creating a dialogue that uplifts rather than divides.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 