“If I Have to Ask, I Don’t Want It Anymore” – The Silent Cry of Women

Frida Kahlo’s powerful words to her husband are a timeless reminder of the emotional labour women often shoulder in relationships:

“I’m not asking you to kiss me or to apologize when I think you’re wrong. I won’t ask you to hug me when I need it most or to tell me I’m beautiful, even if it’s a lie. I won’t ask you to write me sweet words, call me to share how your day went, or tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to appreciate what I do for you, to care for me when my soul is weary, or to support my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen when I have a thousand stories to share. I won’t ask you for anything, not even to stay by my side forever. Because if I have to ask, I don’t want it anymore.”

These words pierce deep because they echo the silent grief of countless women, women who give endlessly, love without conditions, and yet often find themselves standing alone in the very spaces where they long to be seen.

Indian culture is filled with stories of such women, strong, resilient, yet expected to endure without asking. Draupadi in the Mahabharata was humiliated in a court full of men, and yet she had to plead for justice when it should have been instinctively given. Sita in the Ramayana followed Rama into exile, bore every hardship with love and loyalty, and yet her purity was questioned, her worth measured not by her devotion but by suspicion.

Women, both in myth and reality, have carried burdens silently, believing that love, respect, and care should not need to be begged for. They longed for partners who understood them without words but too often were left to prove themselves over and over again.

Shakuntala, in Kalidasa’s epic, waited in quiet hope for her beloved Dushyanta to recognize her and the love they shared, her patience reflecting the eternal truth that a woman should not have to demand what should be freely given. History offers us Rani Lakshmibai, who fought with courage and might not only for her kingdom but also as a symbol of dignity and resilience. Yet even women like her were often left to bear the weight of battles, both external and internal, on their own.

The truth is, women do not want to beg for respect, love, or support. These are not privileges; they are the foundation of any bond. When a woman has to plead to be heard or remind her partner to care, the essence of the relationship begins to shatter.

What women truly desire is presence, not perfection. They want to be seen when they are weary, cherished without conditions, and supported without reminders. A man’s true strength lies not just in his ability to provide but in his ability to empathize, to act without being asked, to love without needing a request.

Because if she has to ask, as Frida so powerfully said, she doesn’t want it anymore.

From Sita’s silence to Draupadi’s cry, from Shakuntala’s patience to Rani Lakshmibai’s courage, the stories of women remind us that love, respect, and support should never be earned through suffering or demanded in desperation.

A woman deserves a love that flows naturally, respect that is instinctive, and support that arrives unspoken. Anything less is not love—it is labour.