Anger is not the enemy. It’s a messenger — a signal that something within us needs attention. The problem begins when we let anger drive our reactions instead of guiding our awareness.
Here are seven levels to help you move from reacting to responding:
1. Awareness
The first step is noticing anger rising within you, the tension, the heat, and the impulse to lash out. Awareness gives you power. You can’t manage what you don’t recognize.
2. Pause & Breathe
Before you say or do something you might regret, pause. Take a deep breath in, and slowly release it. This simple act activates calmness and helps you regain control.
3. Identify the Trigger
Ask yourself: What really made me angry? Sometimes, the surface trigger is not true cause it might be an unmet expectation, a sense of unfairness, or emotional pain from the past.
4. Shift Perspective
Step into the other person’s shoes. Could there be a misunderstanding? Is this situation temporary? A change in perception often dissolves half the anger.
5. Express Constructively
Anger can be expressed without aggression. Speak your truth calmly. Use words that heal, not harm. Assertiveness is strength; aggression is weakness disguised as power.
6. Find Healthy Outlets
Physical movement, art, or journaling helps release emotional energy. When anger is not expressed healthily, it turns inward as guilt or outward as rage. Let it move through you, not control you.
7. Reflect & Grow
Every experience of anger is a mirror reflecting your emotional growth. Ask: What did this situation teach me about myself? With reflection, anger becomes not a destroyer but a teacher.
Learning to manage anger doesn’t mean suppressing it. It means transforming it into understanding, boundaries, and inner peace.
My Truth: A Heart That Still Chooses Love
There comes a point in every woman’s life when silence begins to speak louder than words.
My journey through marriage, motherhood, and heartbreak taught me that love without respect feels hollow, and peace without truth feels like exile.
For years, I silenced parts of myself to keep harmony, to protect others, and to hold my world together. But through that silence, I discovered something unbreakable within me. This truth, my truth is no longer about seeking approval or belonging. It’s about honouring the woman who stayed kind, even when misunderstood, and who still chooses love, but never at the cost of herself.
My Truth
My truth is gentle, yet strong
it has lived through silence,
through words that cut,
and love that forgot how to listen.
My truth has stood in storms,
not to fight,
but to remember what it means
to love without losing myself.
I gave, I nurtured, I believed
in respect, in understanding,
in the quiet language of care.
My truth now whispers:
love is not pain,
respect is not earned by silence,
and peace is not found in pleasing.
My truth is my home,
and my heart
still open, still kind,
still enough.
Our truths are not born from perfection they are shaped in the quiet moments when we finally stop running from ourselves. If my journey has taught me anything, it’s that speaking our truth is an act of love, not rebellion. It’s how we come home to the deepest parts of who we are.
So, take a moment to sit with yourself beyond the noise, beyond expectations. Ask your heart what it needs to feel safe, to feel seen, to feel whole. Your truth may tremble at first, but in time, it will find its voice. And when it does, may it remind you, as mine did, that you are worthy of love that feels like peace.
The Silent Prison of Beliefs
True courage is not found on battlefields or in the noise of the world. It is found in the quiet rebellion against our own minds.
To challenge our beliefs is to walk through fire, for our beliefs are the invisible walls that define the limits of our reality.
From childhood, we are not merely raised. We are domesticated. Through love and fear, reward, and punishment, we learn what to say, what to suppress, how to please, and how to belong. Slowly, the voice of the world becomes the voice in our head. We inherit beliefs not by choice but by survival, and yet, we cling to them as if they were truth itself.
These beliefs become the book of laws that govern our every thought. Within us lives a judge who condemns and a victim who suffers, both enslaved by the same illusions. And even when we awaken to the idea that these beliefs are not ours, guilt and shame whisper: How dare you go against the rules?
What we do not see is that ninety-five per cent of what we believe is not truth but agreement.
Agreements born from fear, from the longing to be loved, from the desperation to be enough.
We spend our lives searching for truth, beauty, and love, unaware that we are like travellers seeking water while standing in the rain.
We are blind not because truth is hidden, but because our eyes are veiled by lies we have accepted as our own.
And so we suffer, not from life itself, but from the stories we tell about life.
No one has ever abused us more than we have abused ourselves in the name of perfection.
But there is a way back, a path that leads from illusion to clarity, from self-rejection to self-acceptance.
A way to walk the earth lightly, untethered by the chains of belief.
This is the wisdom of The Four Agreements ( book by Don Miguel Ruiz), ancient truths dressed in simple words, yet capable of transforming the human spirit.
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
Every word is a seed. Some grow into flowers, others into thorns.
To be impeccable with your word is to become the gardener of your inner world.
Speak truth, not poison. Speak love, not judgment.
When you honour your word to yourself and to others, your speech becomes light, and your heart begins to heal.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Each soul walks through its own storm. What others say or do reveals their weather, not yours.
When you take things personally, you invite their chaos into your calm.
Let the winds pass. What is meant for you will never wound you; what wounds you was never meant for you.
Freedom begins when you stop carrying what was never yours.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
The mind is a restless storyteller, forever filling silence with fiction.
We suffer not from what is, but from what we imagine.
To assume is to see through fog; to communicate is to clear it.
Ask. Listen. Clarify. In truth, there is peace.
To love someone is not to mould them but to see them wholly, without expectation.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is not measured in perfection but in presence.
It changes, just as the sun and seasons change.
Doing your best is not about striving — it is about being.
When you give your full heart to this moment, you stop living for reward and start living in reverence.
To live by these agreements is to remember who you are beneath the noise to return home to your essence.
When truth replaces illusion, spirit moves freely through you. Life begins to flow with ease, and what you need finds its way to you effortlessly.
This is the mastery of love, of gratitude, of intent, of spirit, the mastery of life itself.
It is not a destination, but remembering that freedom was never outside you.
It was always within, waiting for you to unlearn the lies you were taught to live by.
The Secret to Lasting Romantic Intimacy
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you may have asked yourself: What happened to the joy we used to feel in the honeymoon phase? Why don’t we talk with the same spark or feel the same bliss when lying side by side? These tender, almost magical moments are not just sentimental. They are the hallmarks of true romantic intimacy.
Romantic intimacy is more than passion; it is a self-sustaining cycle of adoration and appreciation that strengthens the bond between partners. Yet, all too often, daily stress, routine, and unspoken resentments get in the way of this cycle. As intimacy weakens, many people notice their overall well-being and even zest for life beginning to fade. This is no coincidence.
Marnia Robinson, author of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow, argues that reclaiming our ability to bond deeply with our partners is essential for long-term life fulfilment. Research backs this up, showing that intimacy fuels satisfaction, mental health, and emotional resilience (Zaider et al., 2010). So, how do we nurture intimacy in relationships?
1. A Focus on the We
In thriving relationships, we matter more than the I. When partners prioritize each other’s happiness, the relationship naturally strengthens. Positive psychology research shows that giving to others produces greater fulfilment than focusing on personal gains (Dunn, Aknin, & Norton, 2008). When you consider what will uplift your partner and act on it, they are more likely to reciprocate creating a nourishing cycle of love and appreciation.
2. Intimacy Combines the Physical and Emotional
Romantic intimacy is not just about emotional closeness or physical affection it’s about both working in harmony. Emotional intimacy grows through open communication, while physical intimacy is built on trust and touch. When combined, they create a deeper connection. Imagine coming home after a hard day: instead of asking questions, your partner simply offers a comforting back rub. In that moment, you feel both cared for emotionally and soothed physically. This balance is where intimacy thrives.
3. Intimacy Has an Upwards Trajectory
Intimacy is not static it must be nurtured. Without care, it naturally declines, either from unresolved conflict or from complacency in overly comfortable routines. Small ruptures like fights require active repair through apologies, forgiveness, and gestures of love. At the same time, even in peaceful times, couples should renew their bond by exploring new experiences together and learning more about each other’s evolving needs. Intimacy grows when it is continuously invested in.
The Benefits of Romantic Intimacy
A healthy, intimate relationship offers profound benefits: greater life satisfaction, lower stress, emotional security, and even protection against anxiety and depression (Zaider et al., 2010). In essence, romantic intimacy is not just about keeping love alive it is about keeping life itself vibrant, connected, and meaningful.
The truth is, intimacy doesn’t fade by chance; it fades when left unattended. By focusing on the we, weaving emotional and physical closeness, and choosing to grow together, couples can sustain not just romance but also their shared joy in living.
The Illusion of Happiness: Awakening Beyond the Senses
Happiness, as perceived through our senses, is but a faint reflection of true bliss. What we often call happiness in this material world is bound by time, place, and circumstance—it rises and falls with the ever-changing waves of desire and fulfilment. The taste of a favourite dish, the touch of comfort, and the sound of praise—these are sensory stimulations that give birth to momentary joy. Yet, the moment they fade, we are left seeking again, caught in an endless cycle of craving and loss.
The scriptures teach that real happiness does not depend on the senses but on the state of consciousness. A developed consciousness experiences both happiness and distress more deeply, not because it suffers more, but because it perceives truth beyond illusion. It recognizes that both pleasure and pain belong to the material plane and that the soul, in its pure state, is untouched by either.
Every living being feels happiness and distress according to the degree of development of their consciousness. A fish may feel satisfaction in water, an animal in food and shelter, and a human in emotional or intellectual fulfilment. But as consciousness evolves, the soul begins to question the nature of this satisfaction. It begins to remember that its true happiness lies not in the external, but in connection with the Divine.
The Bhagavad Gita reminds us that the pleasures born of contact with the senses are temporary—they have a beginning and an end, and therefore, they are sources of suffering. True happiness is spiritual; it is eternal, self-sufficient, and beyond the reach of the material mind. It arises from the realization of our eternal identity as spiritual beings, parts of the Supreme Consciousness.
When the senses are controlled and the mind is anchored in the soul, we awaken to a bliss that is not dependent on anything outside of us. That is ānanda—the joy of the soul in harmony with the Divine.
So, the happiness we chase in the material world is not real happiness—it is a reflection, a dream within a dream. The moment we awaken, we see that joy was never lost. It was merely forgotten beneath the layers of illusion, waiting patiently within us all along.
When One Grows and the Other Stays Still: The Silent Gap in Marriage
Marriage is not just about love. It is about growth, individual and together. Two people enter into a bond with dreams, values, and the hope that they will walk side by side through life’s seasons. But what happens when one chooses growth while the other resists it?
In my own journey, I kept growing. I sought to learn, evolve, and stretch my mind and spirit. But he was not interested in this path. What began as a small gap between us slowly widened into a distance that became impossible to ignore.
Instead of seeing my growth as something beautiful, he felt uncomfortable, as if my progress belittled him. He saw my efforts to improve as a judgment against his stillness. And in his discomfort, I was silenced. My voice, my dreams, and my evolution became too much for him to bear.
The truth is that growth can feel threatening when one partner stays stagnant. But growth is not about competition. It’s about expansion, about becoming the best version of ourselves while holding space for each other. In a marriage, if both do not grow together, cracks begin to show. One person’s journey should not silence the other. It should inspire.
When one partner feels blamed for simply evolving, the relationship shifts from partnership to power struggle. And in that silence, something breaks.
If there is one lesson I carry from this, it is that love without growth is incomplete. True partnership means walking together, supporting each other, even if the pace is different. Because in the end, marriage is not about holding each other back, it’s about rising together.
When One Grows and the Other Stays Still: The Silent Gap in Marriage
Marriage is not just about love. It is about growth, individual and together. Two people enter into a bond with dreams, values, and the hope that they will walk side by side through life’s seasons. But what happens when one chooses growth while the other resists it?
In my own journey, I kept growing. I sought to learn, evolve, and stretch my mind and spirit. But he was not interested in this path. What began as a small gap between us slowly widened into a distance that became impossible to ignore.
Instead of seeing my growth as something beautiful, he felt uncomfortable, as if my progress belittled him. He saw my efforts to improve as a judgment against his stillness. And in his discomfort, I was silenced. My voice, my dreams, and my evolution became too much for him to bear.
The truth is that growth can feel threatening when one partner stays stagnant. But growth is not about competition. It’s about expansion, about becoming the best version of ourselves while holding space for each other. In a marriage, if both do not grow together, cracks begin to show. One person’s journey should not silence the other. It should inspire.
When one partner feels blamed for simply evolving, the relationship shifts from partnership to power struggle. And in that silence, something breaks.
If there is one lesson I carry from this, it is that love without growth is incomplete. True partnership means walking together, supporting each other, even if the pace is different. Because in the end, marriage is not about holding each other back, it’s about rising together.
When One Grows and the Other Stays Still: The Silent Gap in Marriage
Marriage is not just about love. It is about growth, individual and together. Two people enter into a bond with dreams, values, and the hope that they will walk side by side through life’s seasons. But what happens when one chooses growth while the other resists it?
In my own journey, I kept growing. I sought to learn, evolve, and stretch my mind and spirit. But he was not interested in this path. What began as a small gap between us slowly widened into a distance that became impossible to ignore.
Instead of seeing my growth as something beautiful, he felt uncomfortable, as if my progress belittled him. He saw my efforts to improve as a judgment against his stillness. And in his discomfort, I was silenced. My voice, my dreams, and my evolution became too much for him to bear.
The truth is that growth can feel threatening when one partner stays stagnant. But growth is not about competition. It’s about expansion, about becoming the best version of ourselves while holding space for each other. In a marriage, if both do not grow together, cracks begin to show. One person’s journey should not silence the other. It should inspire.
When one partner feels blamed for simply evolving, the relationship shifts from partnership to power struggle. And in that silence, something breaks.
If there is one lesson I carry from this, it is that love without growth is incomplete. True partnership means walking together, supporting each other, even if the pace is different. Because in the end, marriage is not about holding each other back, it’s about rising together.
Stay Angry or Stay Free: Choosing the Path of Inner Freedom
Life has a way of taking things from us, sometimes without warning, sometimes in ways that feel unbearably unfair. In those moments, anger and frustration become our companions. We fight battles against what we can not control, and in the struggle, we often lose ourselves.
For years, I lived in that storm, anchored into pain, clinging to what was gone. But pain is not freedom; it is a cage. The truth is simple yet powerful: you can either stay angry or you can stay free.
When everything external is stripped away, doubt begins to whisper. You question your worth, your choices, even your future. Yet, it is precisely in that emptiness that the universe invites you to trust. To believe that what was taken away was never meant to define you. To understand that loss is not the end, but the beginning of finding yourself again.
Freedom is not born from holding on. It is born from letting go. It is choosing faith over fear, trust over resistance, and surrendering over control. And in that surrender, you uncover a deeper truth: what you thought was the end of everything was actually the start of becoming who you were always meant to be.
So the question stands: will you stay angry, or will you stay free? Freedom is where new beginnings are born, where light breaks through the darkness, and where your spirit remembers its power. The universe is waiting to meet you on the other side of your surrender, with more than you ever thought you lost.
“If I Have to Ask, I Don’t Want It Anymore” – The Silent Cry of Women
Frida Kahlo’s powerful words to her husband are a timeless reminder of the emotional labour women often shoulder in relationships:
“I’m not asking you to kiss me or to apologize when I think you’re wrong. I won’t ask you to hug me when I need it most or to tell me I’m beautiful, even if it’s a lie. I won’t ask you to write me sweet words, call me to share how your day went, or tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to appreciate what I do for you, to care for me when my soul is weary, or to support my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen when I have a thousand stories to share. I won’t ask you for anything, not even to stay by my side forever. Because if I have to ask, I don’t want it anymore.”
These words pierce deep because they echo the silent grief of countless women, women who give endlessly, love without conditions, and yet often find themselves standing alone in the very spaces where they long to be seen.
Indian culture is filled with stories of such women, strong, resilient, yet expected to endure without asking. Draupadi in the Mahabharata was humiliated in a court full of men, and yet she had to plead for justice when it should have been instinctively given. Sita in the Ramayana followed Rama into exile, bore every hardship with love and loyalty, and yet her purity was questioned, her worth measured not by her devotion but by suspicion.
Women, both in myth and reality, have carried burdens silently, believing that love, respect, and care should not need to be begged for. They longed for partners who understood them without words but too often were left to prove themselves over and over again.
Shakuntala, in Kalidasa’s epic, waited in quiet hope for her beloved Dushyanta to recognize her and the love they shared, her patience reflecting the eternal truth that a woman should not have to demand what should be freely given. History offers us Rani Lakshmibai, who fought with courage and might not only for her kingdom but also as a symbol of dignity and resilience. Yet even women like her were often left to bear the weight of battles, both external and internal, on their own.
The truth is, women do not want to beg for respect, love, or support. These are not privileges; they are the foundation of any bond. When a woman has to plead to be heard or remind her partner to care, the essence of the relationship begins to shatter.
What women truly desire is presence, not perfection. They want to be seen when they are weary, cherished without conditions, and supported without reminders. A man’s true strength lies not just in his ability to provide but in his ability to empathize, to act without being asked, to love without needing a request.
Because if she has to ask, as Frida so powerfully said, she doesn’t want it anymore.
From Sita’s silence to Draupadi’s cry, from Shakuntala’s patience to Rani Lakshmibai’s courage, the stories of women remind us that love, respect, and support should never be earned through suffering or demanded in desperation.
A woman deserves a love that flows naturally, respect that is instinctive, and support that arrives unspoken. Anything less is not love—it is labour.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 