My dearest daughters,
As I write these words, I want you to know that every choice I’ve made, every boundary I’ve set, has come from a place of deep love and care for you. I have tried to be there for you in all the ways I knew how, even though sometimes it may have felt like I was distant or harsh. There were times I couldn’t be the mother you might have wanted me to be, yet I did everything within my strength and understanding to offer you love and stability, hoping that it would help you build strong, resilient hearts.
But now, as I take a step back, I realize that sometimes, love means allowing you to find your peace on your own terms, even if it means I am not in every part of that journey. It’s hard for me to say this because my love for you is so deep, so constant that stepping back feels almost unnatural. Yet, there comes a point when I understand that my presence, with all my worries and hopes, may not offer the quiet you seek.
One day, you may see that love isn’t always loud or close; it can be quiet, from afar, in moments of absence as well as presence. My hope is that this distance will give you room to breathe, to find yourselves without feeling my presence or my expectations so heavily. Perhaps, in my absence, you will come to see all the ways I tried to be there for you, even when it didn’t feel enough. I pray that this space I’m leaving will bring you clarity, the kind that only comes when you’re given the chance to truly know yourselves, independent of me.
One day, I hope you will understand why I chose to step back—not because my love wasn’t enough – but because my greatest hope is for you to feel peace and freedom. And if that peace comes more easily without me nearby, then I have done my part to the best of my knowledge. I am always here in spirit, carrying you in my heart. Know that my love never leaves, even if my presence does.
One day, my loves, I hope you will understand my journey ❤️
Running Away vs. Moving On: Embracing Self-Validation
There’s a profound difference between running away from a situation and truly moving on. Sometimes, when hurt or wronged, we feel an urge to confront someone directly to secure closure, to offer one last explanation, or to prove, in some grand way, that we weren’t defeated by their lack of faith in us. These impulses can feel like the final step toward healing, as though their validation would make our feelings real or put the pain to rest. But, in truth, that need to convince others of our worth or demand an apology may keep us anchored to them and to our pain.
Moving on, in its truest sense, is about releasing ourselves from the need for their understanding. When we let go of our expectations of others, we make room for our own voice. This doesn’t mean our feelings don’t matter or are less real. What we feel is valid, no matter how others respond—or don’t respond. Real healing often comes when we acknowledge our emotions without needing external acknowledgement.
To move on, we have to allow ourselves to let go of the closure we thought we needed. Life rarely ties up our stories with neat, satisfying conclusions. Often, the people we wait to understand us or feel remorse may never do so, and clinging to the hope of that can prevent us from experiencing peace and growth. True strength is found in putting those people out of our mind—not as an act of bitterness – but as a step toward reclaiming our energy and self-worth.
Forging our own closure is an act of liberation. It’s recognizing that while we can’t change how others feel, we have the power to move forward with what we feel. In doing so, we choose not to run away but to rise, carrying forward only the parts of the story that make us stronger.
Life’s Echo: The Reverberation of Our Choices
Life, in many ways, is like an echo. Just as sound travels, bounces off surfaces, and returns to us, our actions, words, and intentions reflect back, often amplified. What we send out—our kindness, our passion, our empathy—doesn’t just linger in the air. It travels, interacts with others, and eventually comes back, often in ways we never anticipated, sometimes louder than the original whisper.
Imagine the little kindnesses we scatter along our daily path, the moments of compassion, the gestures that, at the time, may seem small. These aren’t merely one-off actions; they’re seeds, releasing a ripple of positivity that extends beyond our view. Life seems to catch these moments and, like an echo in a canyon, send them back—sometimes immediately, sometimes years later—but almost always amplified. The simple, friendly chat with a stranger might one day blossom into a chance opportunity or a cherished friendship. The effort put into helping others can return tenfold as gratitude, fulfillment, or inspiration for them to pay it forward.
But this echo works both ways. Just as it amplifies the good, it returns the bitter and the careless. Negative words and actions can linger, too, reverberating through others’ memories and emotions. Life, then, urges us to send out only what we hope to get back—kindness, resilience, understanding, and love. If we fill the world around us with these, our echo, the feedback life provides, will be one that lifts us.
So, next time we wonder about what to contribute to the world, remember that every act, every word, is part of our personal echo. Send the positive and the uplifting, because the echo doesn’t just come back; it returns magnified, filling our lives with the reflections of our own best intentions.
Psychological resilience
Psychological resilience isn’t developed through constant positivity or feeling good all the time; rather, it emerges from learning how to navigate and endure discomfort, challenges, and negative emotions. Resilience is about getting better at feeling bad—facing stress, fear, disappointment, or failure and still finding ways to move forward.
When we embrace discomfort, we develop the capacity to process difficult emotions, learning that they are temporary and manageable. This approach helps us build emotional endurance, much like strengthening muscles through physical exercise. It’s in the struggle, in the moments of doubt and pain, where resilience is truly forged.
Over time, getting comfortable with discomfort allows us to bounce back more quickly from setbacks. We grow mentally stronger not by avoiding hardship but by developing the skills to cope, adapt, and keep going despite the challenges. In this way, psychological resilience is less about feeling good and more about being equipped to handle when things feel bad.
The Subconscious Mind: A Hidden Influencer of Reality
The human subconscious mind is incredibly powerful, often shaping our thoughts, emotions, and, ultimately, our reality. When our subconscious is programmed with fear and guilt, it can have a profound impact on our ability to manifest the life we desire. Let’s explore how this happens:
The subconscious mind controls much of what we believe, feel, and do without us even realising it. It operates below the level of conscious awareness, influencing our decisions, reactions, and overall worldview. What we store in our subconscious, whether positive or negative, shapes the reality we experience.
Unfortunately, many people have subconscious programming rooted in fear and guilt, which can distort how they perceive the world and limit their potential to manifest their desires.
Fear and guilt are two of the most powerful negative emotions, often implanted in us during childhood or through societal conditioning. These emotions can become deeply ingrained in the subconscious mind, affecting the way we think about ourselves and what we believe we deserve. Fear often causes us to focus on worst-case scenarios or what could go wrong, which directs our energy towards lack and limitation. For example, if you fear failure, you may subconsciously sabotage opportunities for success or avoid taking risks that could lead to growth. Guilt can make us feel unworthy of good things, such as love, success, or happiness. If you carry guilt, you may constantly feel that you need to “make up” for something or that you don’t deserve to manifest your desires. This creates inner resistance to receiving what you truly want.
Manifestation works by aligning your thoughts, emotions, and energy with your desires. The subconscious mind plays a crucial role in this process because it influences the beliefs that drive your thoughts and feelings. If your subconscious is filled with fear and guilt, you are likely to manifest situations that reinforce these emotions—often without realising why this is happening. For instance, if you constantly fear rejection, you might unconsciously attract relationships where you are not fully accepted. Or, if you feel guilty about success, you may subconsciously avoid opportunities for advancement, resulting in stagnation. In this way, fear and guilt serve as barriers to manifesting abundance, joy, or love. They create limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a cycle of negative outcomes.
To effectively manifest your desires and create a fulfilling reality, it’s essential to reprogram your subconscious mind, moving away from fear and guilt and towards empowerment and self-love. Here’s how to start that process:
1. Awareness: The first step is becoming aware of how fear and guilt show up in your life. Reflect on the patterns in your relationships, career, or personal growth. Ask yourself: Where am I operating from a place of fear? Where do I feel unworthy or guilty?
2. Reprogramming: Rewriting your subconscious script requires conscious effort. Tools such as affirmations, meditation, and visualization can help replace fear-based thoughts with empowering ones. For instance, affirmations like “I am worthy of success and abundance” can help shift your mindset from guilt to self-worth.
3. Embrace Self-Compassion: Guilt often comes from a place of self-judgment. Learning to practice self-compassion can help release guilt and create a sense of worthiness. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to deserve good things.
4. Face Your Fears: Fear thrives on avoidance. By confronting your fears directly, whether through gradual exposure or mindset shifts, you diminish their power over your subconscious. Courageously facing what you fear can reprogram your subconscious to trust and embrace new possibilities.
Once you begin reprogramming your subconscious mind, you’ll notice shifts in how you perceive and experience the world. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, you’ll start to focus on what could go right. Your energy will align with your desires, allowing you to manifest them more effortlessly. When the subconscious is freed from the chains of fear and guilt, it opens the door to manifesting a reality that reflects your true potential. You’ll attract situations, people, and opportunities that align with the positive energy you’re putting out into the universe.
Ultimately, our beliefs shape our reality. If we believe, on a subconscious level, that we are worthy, capable, and deserving, we can manifest those beliefs into tangible results. However, if fear and guilt are dominant, they become self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us from reaching our goals. By transforming the subconscious programming of fear and guilt, you can align with your true desires, creating a reality filled with abundance, love, and fulfilment. Manifestation begins within the mind, and once your inner world is free from limiting emotions, your outer world will reflect that shift.
Resilience
Resilience is often seen as the ability to endure hardships and bounce back from adversity, but it’s much more than mere perseverance. It’s a mindset we can actively cultivate that allows us to focus on what truly matters in life, rather than getting caught up in urgent but less important tasks. Resilience training keeps us grounded and goal-orientated by preventing us from becoming overwhelmed by negative emotions.
Emotional resilience, particularly, involves maintaining a positive outlook even during challenging times. It’s not about ignoring difficulties but about recognising that we have control over how we respond to them. People with strong emotional resilience understand that setbacks and disappointments are part of life, but instead of dwelling on them, they seek ways to learn and grow from their experiences. They focus on solutions and lessons that can be drawn from adversity.
A resilient mindset keeps us from falling into a spiral of negativity. It helps us avoid reacting impulsively to difficult situations and allows us to maintain perspective, especially when emotions are running high. Instead of letting stress or frustration dictate our actions, we can pause, assess the situation, and decide on a thoughtful response that aligns with our long-term goals and values.
By fostering resilience, we’re better able to keep our emotions in check, making room for more patience, hope, and optimism, even when circumstances seem bleak. It’s about having the strength to prioritise what’s important and the emotional flexibility to adapt when things don’t go as planned. This ability to stay positive, think clearly, and focus on what matters most forms the foundation of true resilience, empowering us to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and purpose.
Role of emotions in maintaining healthy relationships
Our emotions play a crucial role in shaping how we connect with ourselves and others. Understanding our emotional history, including how we feel about feelings (known as meta-emotions), can significantly impact our ability to build strong, healthy relationships.
Our emotional journey begins at home. If you grew up in an “emotion coaching” environment, you likely feel comfortable acknowledging and expressing your feelings. Crying, sadness, and anger were all considered part of the human experience, helping you build a healthy relationship with your emotions.
On the other hand, if you were raised in an “emotion dismissing” home, you may have learned to suppress your feelings. Phrases like “don’t be sad” or “boys don’t cry” might have been common, leading to difficulty understanding or validating emotions as an adult.
This early emotional training often carries into adulthood, influencing how we manage our own emotions and how we react to the emotions of others.
A meta-emotion mismatch occurs when one partner in a relationship is comfortable with emotions, while the other finds them overwhelming or even threatening. This mismatch can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and conflict.
For someone who is emotionally dismissive, their partner’s expressions of sadness or anger might feel like manipulative tactics, while the emotionally open partner might feel unsupported or misunderstood.
Emily Nagoski, in her book *Come As You Are*, likens emotional processing to traveling through a dark tunnel. Although it may feel frightening, moving through those negative emotions leads to relief and connection on the other side.
For someone uncomfortable with emotions, however, this journey can feel like a treacherous alley they’d rather avoid altogether. Yet, emotional avoidance often exacerbates issues, leaving both partners feeling unheard.
Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, highlights that the success of any relationship depends on emotional attunement—understanding and validating each other’s emotions.
He outlines the “art of intimate conversation” as a way to cultivate emotional attunement:
1. Put Your Feelings Into Words – Express how you truly feel, and encourage your partner to do the same.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions– Invite deeper conversations by asking questions that allow for a wide range of responses.
3. Follow Up with Connection-Building Statements– Show that you’re listening and interested in understanding your partner.
4. Express Compassion and Empathy– Validate your partner’s emotions, even if they are different from yours.
This form of communication fosters closeness and reduces emotional disconnect, creating a space where both partners feel heard and valued.
A key to building healthier emotional connections is reflecting on your emotional history. Were you encouraged to express your emotions or taught to keep them hidden? Understanding this history can help you empathize with your partner and validate their emotional experiences.
Dr. Gottman also advises against immediately jumping into problem-solving mode when your partner expresses negative emotions. While offering solutions might seem helpful, it can undermine their emotional experience. As Dr. Gottman says, “Understanding and empathy must precede advice.”
How can you tell if you’re in a relationship that’s good for your emotional health? An emotionally healthy relationship is one where both partners feel free to express their emotions without fear of judgment. You should feel understood, validated, and supported, just as you do the same for your partner.
In fact, research shows that emotionally healthy relationships contribute to better overall well-being. Being in tune with your emotions—and your partner’s—creates a foundation of trust and mutual respect, which strengthens both mental and physical health.
Loving in Silence: The Unspoken Boundaries of the Heart
I choose to love you in silence… For in silence, I find no rejection,
I choose to love you in loneliness… For in loneliness, no one owns you
but me,
I choose to adore you from a distance… For distance will shield me from pain,
I choose to kiss you in the wind… For the wind is gentler than my lips,
I choose to hold you in my dreams… For in my dreams, you have no end.
– Rumi
There’s something incredibly profound about loving someone in silence. As Rumi once wrote, “I choose to love you in silence… For in silence, I find no rejection.” These words resonate deeply because, in many ways, silence becomes a shield, protecting the heart from the possibility of rejection or pain. It allows us to hold onto the beauty of love without the vulnerability that comes with laying everything bare. It’s a quiet form of self-preservation.
We often find ourselves in situations where the love we feel is too strong, too consuming, and to express fully. Maybe the fear of rejection looms too large, or perhaps the reality of the situation makes it clear that love, when spoken, would only complicate things. In these moments, silence feels safe. The love exists, pure and untouched, within the boundaries of our hearts, where no one can question it or take it away.
Loving someone from a distance, as Rumi suggests, protects us from pain. When you adore someone from afar, it creates a space between the ideal and the reality—allowing the love to remain untainted by life’s messiness. Distance becomes a form of emotional safety net. “For distance will shield me from pain,” Rumi writes, and isn’t that the truth for so many of us who’ve chosen to guard our hearts in this way?
There’s also a certain vulnerability to being too close. When you kiss someone in reality, when you touch them, your emotions become exposed. You risk disappointment or heartache. But when you “kiss in the wind,” as Rumi beautifully puts it, you can preserve the gentleness of that moment without risking the fragile nature of human connection. The wind carries your love but never brings it too close to breaking.
In many ways, loving someone in your dreams feels safest of all. In our dreams, love has no boundaries, no limits. We can hold onto the ones we love forever, free from the constraints of time, distance, or rejection. “For in my dreams, you have no end,” Rumi whispers. It’s a reminder that love can exist in the realm of imagination, where it never fades, never fails, and never disappoints.
But what does this say about the way we love? Are we protecting ourselves from the inevitable hurt of a true, vulnerable connection? Or are we cheating ourselves out of the full experience of love by keeping it locked away in silence, distance, and dreams?
There’s no clear answer. Some of us find solace in the quiet love that stays hidden, while others are compelled to shout it out to the world, regardless of the consequences. Maybe it’s a balance of both—loving deeply but understanding when to hold back when to cherish love in its quietest forms. It’s a delicate dance between protecting our hearts and allowing ourselves to feel the weight and joy of real, tangible love.
At the end of the day, love, whether in silence or speech, is still love. And that, in itself, is a beautiful thing.
The Overlooked Burden of a Mother’s Love: A Personal Reflection.
As a mother, it can feel like you’re caught in a constant tug-of-war between wanting to raise independent, resilient children and ensuring their safety. This battle is even harder when you’re parenting with little or no support, and the absence of a partner’s presence puts more pressure on you. In many households, the father may be a “weekend parent”—present only during the fun times, while the mother is there for the tough moments, enforcing discipline, ensuring responsibilities are met, and shouldering the emotional and mental weight of raising kids day in and day out.
But what happens when this dynamic leads to an unbalanced view of parenting? The father, despite being largely absent, may be seen as the more loving parent, while the mother, who is strict out of necessity, becomes unfairly labelled as abusive.
The reality is that many mothers, particularly single or emotionally unsupported ones, carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. When you’re the primary carer, you don’t have the luxury of always being the “fun” parent. You have to make decisions that your children may not appreciate—like teaching them independence by encouraging them to complete their homework on their own or setting boundaries that might seem overprotective because you’re acutely aware that, as the only consistent adult in their lives, the responsibility ultimately falls on you if anything goes wrong.
Yet mothers are humans, too. There are moments of exhaustion, frustration, and even burnout. When you’re parenting alone or feeling betrayed by the one person you expected to support you, these emotions can manifest in easily misunderstood ways—like raising your voice when you’re at your wit’s end. The children, who may not understand the depth of your stress and trauma, might quickly label these moments as signs of abuse rather than seeing them as expressions of a deeply worn-out mother trying her best.
But what often gets lost in this narrative is the silent trauma that mothers endure—especially when dealing with a broken relationship or the sense of betrayal from a partner who no longer shows up. The emotional weight of carrying a family, worrying about your children’s well-being, and knowing that the burden of blame will fall squarely on your shoulders if anything goes wrong can make even the strongest person crack.
Being strict, worrying, and occasionally yelling doesn’t make you an abusive parent. It makes you human—trying your best when you’re expected to be everything to everyone. But perhaps the greatest injustice of all is the lack of understanding or recognition of that struggle from those closest to you and the toll it takes on your heart, mind, and soul.
If nothing else, remember this: you’re doing the best you can, and sometimes that’s all that can be asked of any parent.
Remembering My Personal Journey: A Story of Resilience
There were days when the weight of the world seemed unbearable. I felt like everything was falling apart, with no light in sight, trapped in a storm of my own emotions and struggles. Yet, here I am today—stronger, wiser, and more resilient than I ever thought possible. Every obstacle I faced wasn’t the end; it became a stepping stone. I might not have realized it then, but each challenge I encountered was shaping me, moulding me into the person I am today.
Through the darkest moments, I found a strength I didn’t know I had. Every time life knocked me down, I stood back up. With each stand, I grew stronger. Reflecting on how far I’ve come, I can now see that the strength that got me through those tough times is still within me, ready to carry me through whatever comes next.
There was something deeply transformative about walking through the darkness. It was during those times of uncertainty, pain, and fear that I truly discovered who I am. I faced my deepest fears, I felt the hurt, and yet, despite it all, I emerged stronger. The darkness didn’t break me—it built me. It refined my spirit and brought forth a strength I hadn’t recognized before. Every storm I survived stands as a testament to my resilience. I now carry that strength with me as a reminder that no matter how hard life gets, I have the power to rise again.
Each storm I weathered taught me lessons that shaped the wisdom I hold today. Those trials weren’t in vain; they deepened my understanding of myself and the world around me. I learned patience when things didn’t go as planned. I discovered perseverance when everything felt overwhelming. And I found self-love when I had no one else to turn to. Most importantly, I learned that every challenge carries a gift—a piece of wisdom that has become a part of who I am. With each trial, I didn’t just become stronger; I became wiser. Now, I know that no matter what storms come my way, I can face them.
Even in my loneliest moments, when I felt like the world had abandoned me, the Universe was silently guiding me. There’s a divine order to everything, even when it didn’t make sense. Every twist, every closed door, every moment of uncertainty was part of a grander plan for my life. The Universe knew my path, and it never left me. It placed the right people, the right circumstances, and the right lessons before me to help me grow into the person I am today. I trust that even when the road ahead feels unclear, I am not alone.
Whatever I’m going through now, I trust this: I will rise above it just as I always have. Life has tested me before, and I found my way each time. I know I’ll do it again. This challenge, like all the others, is temporary, but my strength is permanent. I’ve proven to myself that I’m a warrior in my own life, and nothing can hold me down for long.
Everything in life is temporary—the good and the bad. Whatever storm I’m facing now will pass, just like all the others did. I am stronger than the difficulties I face, and soon, I’ll look back on this moment as another stepping stone in my journey. The strength I’ve built will carry me forward, just as it always has.
Even when it feels like nothing is happening, I trust that the universe is always at work behind the scenes. It’s aligning circumstances, opening doors, and paving the way for my next chapter. The process may not always be clear, but I trust it. I trust in my own power to rise above whatever life throws my way, knowing brighter days are ahead. The Universe is conspiring for my highest good, and I am exactly where I need to be.
Victory is not just a possibility; it’s my destiny. The challenges I face now are part of the journey that leads to my inevitable triumph. I believe in myself, in my strength, and in the divine support that surrounds me. No matter how difficult life gets, I trust that I am meant to rise above it all. I’ve already survived so much, and I know I have the strength to overcome what lies ahead. I am divinely supported, and I will prevail because victory has already been written for me.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 