The idea that we can not truly get or keep anything solely for ourselves speaks to the deep interconnection between self-love and selflessness. This lesson reminds us that the most lasting and meaningful gains come when we extend what we seek for ourselves to others as well. In the context of self-love and selflessness, this lesson shows that true self-love is not an isolated act but one that blossoms when it is shared.
Self-love is often misunderstood as selfishness or self-centeredness, but true self-love means nurturing oneself to be better equipped to nurture others. When we practice self-love, we cultivate resilience, patience, and compassion—qualities that naturally extend to our relationships. By caring for ourselves, we replenish our capacity to care for others, creating a ripple effect that goes beyond personal benefit. In this way, self-love becomes a foundation for selflessness. When we honour our needs, set boundaries, and cultivate inner peace, we are in a better position to contribute positively to others’ lives.
Selflessness, on the other hand, is not about neglecting oneself to serve others but recognizing that in giving, we enrich our own lives. Selflessness often involves a sense of reciprocity—not in the sense of expecting something in return, but in understanding that what we offer to others also nurtures our own growth. By helping someone find joy, we feel joy; by offering understanding, we grow in empathy and compassion. Selflessness is an extension of self-love, where the fulfilment and growth we derive are not limited to the self but are shared, fostering a cycle of mutual benefit.
In this interplay of self-love and selflessness, the idea of shared gain becomes clear: we can not truly find peace, happiness, or fulfilment solely by focusing on ourselves. A truly enriched life is one where our happiness is intertwined with others’ happiness. Just as self-love empowers us to give more, selflessness enriches our capacity for deeper love toward ourselves. In the end, this lesson teaches that whatever we aim to achieve for ourselves, if directed toward the good of others, becomes more profound, sustainable, and fulfilling. Self-love and selflessness, then, are not opposing forces; they are partners in creating a life that is truly abundant and worthwhile.
Life as a Cash Register: Every Thought, Every Deed Matters
Imagine life as a cash register—every thought, every deed, every choice we make is an entry that leaves an imprint on our personal ledger. Like transactions, each action is recorded and contributes to the balance of our lives, shaping our character, relationships, and experiences. Just as in a store where a cashier’s entries determine the day’s earnings, our actions reflect the values and goals we are working toward.
In this metaphor, every positive action—kindness, honesty, patience—becomes like a credit in our register. Each good deed accumulates a balance that eventually reflects back on us, creating a sense of fulfilment and inner peace. On the other hand, every unkind thought, harmful deed, or selfish action takes something away, leaving an impression that, while invisible, influences the “bottom line” of our lives. Our actions, whether conscious or unconscious, have a way of tallying up over time, leaving us with either an inner wealth of integrity and connection or, sometimes, a deficit we must work to repay.
One of the powerful lessons of this sentiment is mindfulness. If we remember that each choice counts, we may become more thoughtful in how we react to situations, treat others, or make decisions. This awareness helps us create a balance sheet filled with values we can be proud of, one that reflects our best intentions and growth.
Like any business, there are opportunities for “reconciliation” when mistakes happen. Moments of regret or missteps can be learned from, and with effort, they can lead to changes that improve our inner “profit and loss” statement. Life doesn’t require perfection but offers chances to correct our course, bringing us back to alignment with our true purpose.
In the end, when we reflect on our lives, the entries we’ll cherish most are likely the thoughts and actions rooted in love, kindness, and understanding. So, if life is indeed like a cash register, perhaps our goal is to close each “day” with a balance that speaks to who we want to be, knowing that every choice counts, every thought has weight, and every deed leaves its mark. This perspective may inspire us to live with integrity and mind that each entry we make today shapes the legacy we leave behind.
Finding Peace at Zero: Transforming Reality from Within
True peace begins within. In a world filled with noise and pressure, finding that calm space requires returning to what I call the “zero state”—a place of pure presence, where everything falls away, and you are simply yourself. Imagine a state where the burdens of expectation, past regrets, and future anxieties are absent. At zero, you’re just…you.
Being at zero doesn’t mean a lack of thoughts or emotions; it’s a place where you observe them without judgment or attachment. It’s a reset point, a way to engage with life authentically, in a state of openness and peace. From this space, our perceptions can shift, and we see life with fresh eyes. It’s amazing how a slight change in perspective can transform reality. Like a lens brought into focus, when we clear away distractions and release rigid interpretations, we start to see the beauty in simplicity and the lessons in challenges.
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change,” as Wayne Dyer so aptly said. When we adopt this zero-state mindset, we discover that our reality is largely shaped by how we perceive it. A situation that once caused stress can become an opportunity for growth. Obstacles transform into stepping stones.
So how can we begin to enter this zero state? Start by letting go of assumptions and expectations. Breathe deeply, set aside the need to control outcomes, and simply allow yourself to be. As you do, you’ll notice a shift—a widening of possibilities, a release of tension. With an open mind and heart, you can begin to see life from a place of peace.
In this state, where we become our truest selves, reality feels lighter, freer. Peace isn’t something we achieve by fixing everything outside of us; it’s a state we cultivate within. So, just be at zero. Be yourself. Let go of what doesn’t serve you, and watch as your perception, and your reality, begins to transform.
One Minute at a Time: Lessons from Life’s Toughest Moments
In the most difficult chapter of my life, I discovered a powerful mantra: One day at a time, one hour at a time, maybe even one minute at a time. When the weight of yesterday feels overwhelming and tomorrow’s uncertainty adds pressure, the only place to find strength is in the now.
I learned that true resilience is born in these small, manageable moments. Rather than looking back with regret or forward with fear, I began focusing on the single minute in front of me. I would remind myself, “Stay here, breathe, and just hold on.” It was here that I found my grounding, realizing that strength isn’t measured by how much we endure all at once but by the small, quiet victories we achieve by simply holding steady.
“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way,” and “This too shall pass,” became my anchors. In each present moment, I aimed to stay strong, sane, and healthy—not for some grand future goal, but for the sake of that one minute.
And that’s the lesson I carry forward: In life’s toughest seasons, take it minute by minute. Keep your feet in the present, where you’re not yet burdened by what’s past or worried about what’s ahead. Just one minute at a time—because sometimes, that’s all we need to keep going.
Letting Go: An Act of Unconditional Love
True love, I’ve learned, is not about possession or control but about freedom and respect for the choices of those we hold dear. Loving unconditionally means embracing the reality that people have their own journeys to follow. When my family chose to leave, I didn’t cling to them or ask them to stay, not because I didn’t care, but because I understood that love without freedom is captivity, not connection.
As Khalil Gibran once wrote, “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.” Letting go wasn’t easy, but it was the truest expression of my love for them, accepting their will above my own attachment.
Another perspective that brings me peace is this: “Love isn’t about holding tight; it’s about letting go and trusting that what’s meant to be will always find its way back.” In allowing them to leave, I honoured both their freedom and my own strength, knowing that forcing them to stay would only breed resentment and diminish the purity of what once was.
In the end, real love asks us to release, honour choices made, and have faith in the journey—even when it diverges from our own. And as I stand here, open-hearted and steady, I realize that sometimes love’s greatest power lies in letting go.
I did my part. I hope my absence gives you peace that my love couldn’t
My dearest daughters,
As I write these words, I want you to know that every choice I’ve made, every boundary I’ve set, has come from a place of deep love and care for you. I have tried to be there for you in all the ways I knew how, even though sometimes it may have felt like I was distant or harsh. There were times I couldn’t be the mother you might have wanted me to be, yet I did everything within my strength and understanding to offer you love and stability, hoping that it would help you build strong, resilient hearts.
But now, as I take a step back, I realize that sometimes, love means allowing you to find your peace on your own terms, even if it means I am not in every part of that journey. It’s hard for me to say this because my love for you is so deep, so constant that stepping back feels almost unnatural. Yet, there comes a point when I understand that my presence, with all my worries and hopes, may not offer the quiet you seek.
One day, you may see that love isn’t always loud or close; it can be quiet, from afar, in moments of absence as well as presence. My hope is that this distance will give you room to breathe, to find yourselves without feeling my presence or my expectations so heavily. Perhaps, in my absence, you will come to see all the ways I tried to be there for you, even when it didn’t feel enough. I pray that this space I’m leaving will bring you clarity, the kind that only comes when you’re given the chance to truly know yourselves, independent of me.
One day, I hope you will understand why I chose to step back—not because my love wasn’t enough – but because my greatest hope is for you to feel peace and freedom. And if that peace comes more easily without me nearby, then I have done my part to the best of my knowledge. I am always here in spirit, carrying you in my heart. Know that my love never leaves, even if my presence does.
One day, my loves, I hope you will understand my journey ❤️
Running Away vs. Moving On: Embracing Self-Validation
There’s a profound difference between running away from a situation and truly moving on. Sometimes, when hurt or wronged, we feel an urge to confront someone directly to secure closure, to offer one last explanation, or to prove, in some grand way, that we weren’t defeated by their lack of faith in us. These impulses can feel like the final step toward healing, as though their validation would make our feelings real or put the pain to rest. But, in truth, that need to convince others of our worth or demand an apology may keep us anchored to them and to our pain.
Moving on, in its truest sense, is about releasing ourselves from the need for their understanding. When we let go of our expectations of others, we make room for our own voice. This doesn’t mean our feelings don’t matter or are less real. What we feel is valid, no matter how others respond—or don’t respond. Real healing often comes when we acknowledge our emotions without needing external acknowledgement.
To move on, we have to allow ourselves to let go of the closure we thought we needed. Life rarely ties up our stories with neat, satisfying conclusions. Often, the people we wait to understand us or feel remorse may never do so, and clinging to the hope of that can prevent us from experiencing peace and growth. True strength is found in putting those people out of our mind—not as an act of bitterness – but as a step toward reclaiming our energy and self-worth.
Forging our own closure is an act of liberation. It’s recognizing that while we can’t change how others feel, we have the power to move forward with what we feel. In doing so, we choose not to run away but to rise, carrying forward only the parts of the story that make us stronger.
Life’s Echo: The Reverberation of Our Choices
Life, in many ways, is like an echo. Just as sound travels, bounces off surfaces, and returns to us, our actions, words, and intentions reflect back, often amplified. What we send out—our kindness, our passion, our empathy—doesn’t just linger in the air. It travels, interacts with others, and eventually comes back, often in ways we never anticipated, sometimes louder than the original whisper.
Imagine the little kindnesses we scatter along our daily path, the moments of compassion, the gestures that, at the time, may seem small. These aren’t merely one-off actions; they’re seeds, releasing a ripple of positivity that extends beyond our view. Life seems to catch these moments and, like an echo in a canyon, send them back—sometimes immediately, sometimes years later—but almost always amplified. The simple, friendly chat with a stranger might one day blossom into a chance opportunity or a cherished friendship. The effort put into helping others can return tenfold as gratitude, fulfillment, or inspiration for them to pay it forward.
But this echo works both ways. Just as it amplifies the good, it returns the bitter and the careless. Negative words and actions can linger, too, reverberating through others’ memories and emotions. Life, then, urges us to send out only what we hope to get back—kindness, resilience, understanding, and love. If we fill the world around us with these, our echo, the feedback life provides, will be one that lifts us.
So, next time we wonder about what to contribute to the world, remember that every act, every word, is part of our personal echo. Send the positive and the uplifting, because the echo doesn’t just come back; it returns magnified, filling our lives with the reflections of our own best intentions.
Psychological resilience
Psychological resilience isn’t developed through constant positivity or feeling good all the time; rather, it emerges from learning how to navigate and endure discomfort, challenges, and negative emotions. Resilience is about getting better at feeling bad—facing stress, fear, disappointment, or failure and still finding ways to move forward.
When we embrace discomfort, we develop the capacity to process difficult emotions, learning that they are temporary and manageable. This approach helps us build emotional endurance, much like strengthening muscles through physical exercise. It’s in the struggle, in the moments of doubt and pain, where resilience is truly forged.
Over time, getting comfortable with discomfort allows us to bounce back more quickly from setbacks. We grow mentally stronger not by avoiding hardship but by developing the skills to cope, adapt, and keep going despite the challenges. In this way, psychological resilience is less about feeling good and more about being equipped to handle when things feel bad.
The Subconscious Mind: A Hidden Influencer of Reality
The human subconscious mind is incredibly powerful, often shaping our thoughts, emotions, and, ultimately, our reality. When our subconscious is programmed with fear and guilt, it can have a profound impact on our ability to manifest the life we desire. Let’s explore how this happens:
The subconscious mind controls much of what we believe, feel, and do without us even realising it. It operates below the level of conscious awareness, influencing our decisions, reactions, and overall worldview. What we store in our subconscious, whether positive or negative, shapes the reality we experience.
Unfortunately, many people have subconscious programming rooted in fear and guilt, which can distort how they perceive the world and limit their potential to manifest their desires.
Fear and guilt are two of the most powerful negative emotions, often implanted in us during childhood or through societal conditioning. These emotions can become deeply ingrained in the subconscious mind, affecting the way we think about ourselves and what we believe we deserve. Fear often causes us to focus on worst-case scenarios or what could go wrong, which directs our energy towards lack and limitation. For example, if you fear failure, you may subconsciously sabotage opportunities for success or avoid taking risks that could lead to growth. Guilt can make us feel unworthy of good things, such as love, success, or happiness. If you carry guilt, you may constantly feel that you need to “make up” for something or that you don’t deserve to manifest your desires. This creates inner resistance to receiving what you truly want.
Manifestation works by aligning your thoughts, emotions, and energy with your desires. The subconscious mind plays a crucial role in this process because it influences the beliefs that drive your thoughts and feelings. If your subconscious is filled with fear and guilt, you are likely to manifest situations that reinforce these emotions—often without realising why this is happening. For instance, if you constantly fear rejection, you might unconsciously attract relationships where you are not fully accepted. Or, if you feel guilty about success, you may subconsciously avoid opportunities for advancement, resulting in stagnation. In this way, fear and guilt serve as barriers to manifesting abundance, joy, or love. They create limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a cycle of negative outcomes.
To effectively manifest your desires and create a fulfilling reality, it’s essential to reprogram your subconscious mind, moving away from fear and guilt and towards empowerment and self-love. Here’s how to start that process:
1. Awareness: The first step is becoming aware of how fear and guilt show up in your life. Reflect on the patterns in your relationships, career, or personal growth. Ask yourself: Where am I operating from a place of fear? Where do I feel unworthy or guilty?
2. Reprogramming: Rewriting your subconscious script requires conscious effort. Tools such as affirmations, meditation, and visualization can help replace fear-based thoughts with empowering ones. For instance, affirmations like “I am worthy of success and abundance” can help shift your mindset from guilt to self-worth.
3. Embrace Self-Compassion: Guilt often comes from a place of self-judgment. Learning to practice self-compassion can help release guilt and create a sense of worthiness. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to deserve good things.
4. Face Your Fears: Fear thrives on avoidance. By confronting your fears directly, whether through gradual exposure or mindset shifts, you diminish their power over your subconscious. Courageously facing what you fear can reprogram your subconscious to trust and embrace new possibilities.
Once you begin reprogramming your subconscious mind, you’ll notice shifts in how you perceive and experience the world. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, you’ll start to focus on what could go right. Your energy will align with your desires, allowing you to manifest them more effortlessly. When the subconscious is freed from the chains of fear and guilt, it opens the door to manifesting a reality that reflects your true potential. You’ll attract situations, people, and opportunities that align with the positive energy you’re putting out into the universe.
Ultimately, our beliefs shape our reality. If we believe, on a subconscious level, that we are worthy, capable, and deserving, we can manifest those beliefs into tangible results. However, if fear and guilt are dominant, they become self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us from reaching our goals. By transforming the subconscious programming of fear and guilt, you can align with your true desires, creating a reality filled with abundance, love, and fulfilment. Manifestation begins within the mind, and once your inner world is free from limiting emotions, your outer world will reflect that shift.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 