The Other Side of the Coin: Recognizing the Positives in Our Upbringing

In recent years, the conversation around inner child healing, past traumas, and difficult upbringing situations has gained significant traction. Social media is filled with stories, reels, and posts advocating for addressing childhood wounds and blaming upbringing for negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. While these discussions are valid and provide a platform for many to heal and find closure, there seems to be an alarming imbalance in the narrative.

It’s undeniable that our upbringing shapes us—our experiences, environment, and relationships – leave indelible marks on our personalities. However, it’s overly simplistic to assume that all the negative traits in us are solely a result of our parents’ mistakes. If our upbringing is responsible for our struggles, isn’t it also responsible for our resilience, our strengths, and the positive traits we carry?

Parents, like all human beings, are imperfect. They’ve faced their own challenges, navigated their own traumas, and often did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had at the time. Blaming parents exclusively for every flaw in our personalities is not only unfair but also reductive—it ignores the complexities of human relationships and the shared journey of growth between parents and children.

One concerning aspect of the current discourse is its potential impact on today’s generation. Many young individuals who may not have faced significant issues in their upbringing are being introduced to the idea that their parents are to blame for their smallest insecurities or setbacks. Instead of fostering understanding, this narrative risks creating unnecessary rifts between parents and children.

It’s important to distinguish between those who genuinely need to address childhood traumas and those who may be overanalyzing ordinary struggles as a result of societal trends. Not every disagreement or misunderstanding with parents stems from deep-seated issues. Sometimes, it’s just life.

Acknowledging the good in our upbringing doesn’t mean denying the challenges we’ve faced. It means looking at the bigger picture and appreciating the efforts, sacrifices, and love our parents gave us—however imperfectly.

Perhaps your parents taught you the value of hard work, kindness, or perseverance. Maybe they instilled in you a love for learning, creativity, or community. Even in households where trauma exists, there are often moments of joy, lessons learned, and strengths built that deserve recognition.

The Path Forward: Gratitude and Healing
Instead of solely focusing on what went wrong, let’s also consider: What went right? Reflect on the positive aspects of your upbringing and the values you carry forward.

What did your parents overcome? Recognize that they were individuals with their own struggles long before they became your parents.
How can we move forward together? Healing is a journey that involves both accountability and forgiveness. By fostering conversations that emphasize understanding, we can bridge gaps rather than widen them.

It’s time we balance the narrative around upbringing. By acknowledging both the good and the bad, we can promote healing, gratitude, and stronger relationships. Parents are not superheroes, nor are they villains—they’re human, just like us. Let’s move forward with compassion, for ourselves and for them, creating a dialogue that uplifts rather than divides.

Assumptions: The Silent Killer of Relationships

Assumptions are often seen as a mental shortcut, a way for our minds to make sense of the unknown. However, in relationships—whether personal or professional—they can act as silent killers, eroding trust, understanding, and connection. For me, the sting of assumptions is particularly sharp when people preemptively judge my reactions without ever engaging in a conversation. Their labels of me as a “difficult person” often feel less like reflections of who I am and more like projections of their own fears or misunderstandings. This is a sentiment I believe many can relate to, and it speaks to the broader issue of why communication must be the foundation of any relationship.

Why do people assume instead of asking? The answer often lies in comfort. Assumptions allow individuals to avoid the discomfort of potential conflict or awkwardness. If someone believes I might respond strongly to a topic, they may decide it’s easier to fill in the blanks with their own narrative rather than take the risk of exploring mine. Unfortunately, this act of self-protection often backfires, creating a wall between us. Instead of fostering connection, assumptions breed misunderstanding, resentment, and, at times, alienation.

When someone assumes how I’ll react, they’re not just skipping a conversation—they’re stripping me of the opportunity to express myself. Worse, when those assumptions are shared with others or used to define my character, they create an unfair and often inaccurate label. Being called “difficult” based on someone else’s unchecked assumptions feels like being judged for a crime I didn’t commit. It stings not just because it’s unjust but because it undermines the effort I put into building genuine relationships.

Communication: The Mantra for Connection
The antidote to assumptions is communication. It’s a simple yet powerful mantra: talk first, assume nothing. Open, honest conversations can clear the fog of misunderstanding. By asking questions and listening, we give each other the respect and space to be authentic. Communication requires vulnerability on both sides, but it’s a far more effective way to foster trust than relying on guesswork.

When someone takes the time to ask about my perspective rather than presuming it, I feel seen, heard, and valued. This isn’t about always agreeing or finding perfect harmony—it’s about creating a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Breaking the cycle of assumptions and labels starts with awareness. I strive to challenge assumptions I might make about others, hoping to inspire a similar approach in them. When faced with someone labelling me as “difficult,” I try to invite dialogue, even when it feels like an uphill battle. While I can’t control others’ perceptions, I can control how I respond—and I choose to respond with clarity and openness.

I suggest choosing Curiosity Over Assumption
Assumptions will always be the easier path, but they come at a cost: damaged relationships and lost opportunities for deeper connection. By choosing curiosity, we create room for understanding. If people could take a moment to talk instead of assuming, they might see not a “difficult” person but a thoughtful, passionate one eager to connect. Communication isn’t just the mantra—it’s the bridge that transforms relationships, one conversation at a time.


When Someone Walks Away After You’ve Addressed Their Behaviour.

It can be incredibly disheartening when someone chooses to walk away from you simply because you’ve expressed how their actions have made you feel. Whether it’s neglect, disrespect, or disregard for your boundaries, addressing these behaviours shouldn’t lead to the end of a relationship—yet, sometimes, it does.

When this happens, it’s essential to recognize that their reaction speaks volumes about their level of care and respect for you. Someone who truly values you would not respond to your vulnerability with avoidance or dismissal. Instead, they’d engage in honest dialogue, showing empathy and a willingness to address the problem. Walking away in these moments isn’t just avoidance; it’s an indicator that they may have never been fully invested in treating you with the respect and kindness you deserve.

This behaviour often ties into a pattern of gaslighting—subtly manipulating you into believing they cared deeply while consistently disregarding your feelings. Love and care are not just words; they are reflected in actions. A person who genuinely loves you wouldn’t walk away after causing you pain—they’d stay and try to make it right.

When you find yourself repeating the same concerns, explaining the same hurt, and asking for the same decency over and over, that isn’t a misunderstanding—it’s disrespect. People who truly love you feel your hurt as if it were their own. They adjust their actions because your happiness matters to them. On the other hand, those who knowingly repeat harmful behaviors are choosing their comfort or indifference over your well-being.


Letting go of people who habitually disrespect you or are indifferent to the pain they cause can feel daunting. But holding on to them will only drain you further. Never doubt yourself for standing up for your right to be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity. Seeking fairness in your relationships is not asking too much—it’s the bare minimum.

The problem isn’t that you brought up their hurtful actions; the problem lies in their unwillingness to acknowledge your feelings or show even a shred of compassion. Love is a two-way street, built on mutual respect and understanding. Without those foundations, it isn’t love—it’s convenience at your expense.

So, take heart in knowing your worth. You are not “too sensitive” or “too demanding” for expecting decency in your relationships. If someone walks away rather than owning up to their behaviors and working towards change, let them. Their departure clears space for people who will truly value you and treat you with the care you deserve.

Remember, you deserve relationships where your feelings matter. Never settle for less.


Letting Go: A Lesson in Love, Self-Worth, and True Compassion

There’s a paradox at the heart of love: the deeper it is, the more it requires us to let go. This is a lesson I’ve come to understand in the past few years—one that has been as painful as it is profound. Letting go of someone you love, truly love, isn’t about giving up on them. It’s about giving them the freedom to find themselves, their happiness, and their peace—even if it means being apart from you.

It’s easy to believe that holding on is the truest expression of love. After all, the world romanticizes the idea of fighting for the ones we care about, of doing whatever it takes to keep them in our lives. But sometimes, the bravest and most selfless act of love is to let go when someone asks for an exit.

Letting go is not an act devoid of heartbreak. It feels like a part of your soul is being ripped away. The ache of imagining a life without them is a sharp and unrelenting companion, and the void their absence creates can feel impossible to fill.

But as I’ve learned, the pain is a testament to the depth of the love you hold. It’s proof that your feelings are real and that the connection mattered. Yet, even amidst the hurt, there is a quiet strength in releasing them—because true love isn’t about possession. It’s about the freedom to choose.

When someone you love chooses to walk away, it doesn’t mean your love for them disappears. The physical distance doesn’t diminish the affection or care you hold in your heart. If anything, it redefines the way you express that love.

You continue to root for their happiness, even from afar. You hold onto the hope that they find the self-worth, joy, and peace they’re searching for. That kind of love transcends proximity—it becomes a love rooted in compassion and respect, not control or need.

The decision to let go often stems from understanding that their journey is their own. Maybe they need time to heal, rediscover themselves, or chase dreams they feel they can only pursue without you. It doesn’t make their departure easier to accept, but it brings clarity to their choice.

Sometimes, love can be overwhelming, especially if someone is struggling to find their own identity or purpose. In those moments, holding on too tightly can suffocate rather than support. Letting go becomes an act of faith—not just in them, but in the belief that love, in its purest form, is never truly lost.

In these past five years, I’ve learned that love is not about clinging to someone, even if your heart begs you to. It’s about trusting that if they are meant to be in your life, they will return when the time is right. And if they don’t, it doesn’t negate the beauty and value of what you shared.

Letting go taught me the power of selflessness. It showed me that love is not always about fulfilling your own needs or desires. It’s about prioritizing their well-being, even if it means stepping aside.

It also taught me resilience. Even in the face of loss, I learned to carry love in my heart without allowing it to shatter me completely. That love remains a part of me, shaping who I am and how I approach the world.

Letting go of the person you love most is a heart-wrenching experience, but it is also an act of profound courage and grace. It’s a recognition that love isn’t about possession but about freedom. It’s about honouring their journey, even if it means walking separate paths.

And so, while it hurts, I have learned to let go of love. To wish them peace, happiness, and self-discovery. To hold onto the love we shared, not as a tether, but as a reminder that true love doesn’t disappear—it evolves. Letting go is not the end of love; it is its ultimate expression.

Seizing the Moment: How to Capitalize on That One Opportunity to Make It Big

Life often presents us with fleeting opportunities—those rare, golden moments that have the potential to change everything. These opportunities don’t come with flashing neon signs or extended deadlines. They require courage, preparation, and an unwavering belief in your ability to seize the moment. If you’ve ever wondered how to make the most of such chances, here’s your guide to capitalizing on that one pivotal opportunity and taking your life to new heights.

Opportunities are like seeds—they contain immense potential but need action to grow. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t often boils down to recognizing the significance of a moment and acting on it. History is filled with stories of people who made it big by capitalizing on the right chance at the right time. From entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs to athletes like Michael Jordan, their success didn’t just come from talent—it came from seizing opportunities.


Not every opportunity will scream, “I’m the one!” So how do you identify the right one?
It Aligns with Your Goals: Look for opportunities that resonate with your long-term aspirations. If it feels like a stepping stone toward your dreams, it’s worth pursuing.
It Scares and Excites You: The right opportunity often pushes you out of your comfort zone. That mix of fear and excitement is a powerful signal.
It Feels Time-Sensitive: Many great opportunities are time-bound. If delaying action feels like losing something significant, don’t wait.

Luck, as they say, is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. To ensure you’re ready when your moment arrives:

Invest in Self-Development: Build the skills and knowledge necessary to excel in your field. Continuous learning prepares you for unexpected chances.
Stay Alert: Opportunities often come disguised as challenges or mundane tasks. Keep your eyes open, and don’t dismiss things that seem small.
Build a Network: The right connections can open doors you didn’t even know existed. Nurture relationships with people in your industry or areas of interest.

The moment is here—what now? Here’s how to maximize it:

Take Immediate Action: Hesitation can cost you dearly. Even if you don’t feel completely ready, move forward and figure things out as you go.
Give It Your All: Treat this opportunity as your only chance. Dedicate your energy, focus, and passion to making the most of it.
Embrace the Risks: Success often involves stepping into the unknown. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid of failure—it’s a natural part of growth.
Many people miss out on life-changing opportunities because they let fear hold them back. To overcome this:

Reframe Failure: See failure as feedback, not a dead end.
Visualize Success: Picture the best-case scenario and let that vision motivate you.
Lean on Mentors: Seek advice from those who’ve walked similar paths.


Some real-life examples:
Oprah Winfrey: She turned a local news anchor role into a launching pad for one of the most successful media empires in history.


J.K. Rowling: She submitted her manuscript to the publisher after the publisher until she got her break. That perseverance turned Harry Potter into a global phenomenon.


Elon Musk: From PayPal to SpaceX, Musk’s career is a testament to taking calculated risks and seizing opportunities.

Success doesn’t come in a straight line. One opportunity can lead to others, creating a domino effect of growth and progress. By seizing the moment, you not only change your current circumstances but also set the stage for a lifetime of opportunities.


The truth is, opportunities are everywhere—they’re waiting for you to notice them, prepare for them, and act decisively. Life’s biggest rewards are reserved for those who dare to leap when the moment calls. So, take the risk, trust yourself, and seize that one opportunity to make it big.

Because sometimes, all it takes is one moment to change everything.

Grieving your loved ones


When you grieve for loved ones who have passed, pause and reflect: who are you truly crying for? The pain of loss often stems from the emptiness their absence creates in your life. But consider this—what if their journey hasn’t ended? What if they’ve simply transitioned to a realm beyond your reach, a place filled with peace and light?

If they’re no longer here, they must be somewhere else—free from pain, illness, and struggle. Would you wish to bring them back to a life of hardships, or would you celebrate their liberation? Your tears don’t serve them; they echo your longing. Instead, why not honour their journey by celebrating the peace they’ve found?

Even though they’re no longer physically present, they haven’t truly left you. They live on in your heart, your memories, and every cherished moment you shared. They’re an inseparable part of you, woven into the story of your life. To honour their memory, release the heavy grip of mourning and embrace the beauty of what you shared. Loving them now means loving more deeply and purely, with a focus on the enduring connection you share.

It’s okay to cry—your pain is real, and your grief is part of being human. But don’t let it consume you. Don’t allow it to tether you so tightly to the past that you forget the life you’re still meant to live. Those you’ve lost wouldn’t want you to be stuck in sorrow. They would want you to live fully, to carry their legacy by embracing life with the passion and joy they can no longer experience.

Death is not an end but a transformation—a crossing into a space beyond our understanding. If we could glimpse the peace that awaits, perhaps our sorrow would soften into gratitude. Their journey is a reminder of the inevitable passage we all will face, a doorway to light and renewal.

So, don’t let grief overshadow your own journey. Let their love inspire you to live—to laugh, to cherish the moments you have, and to honour their memory by building a life filled with meaning. Their legacy isn’t in your tears but in the vibrancy of the life you create with the lessons and love they’ve left behind.

Live as they would have wished you to. Carry their light within you, and let it guide your path. They’re not truly gone—they’re just waiting on the other side, ready to greet you when your time comes. Until then, live well. Live fully. Live for them.

Physical Spiritual Exercise


Physical exercise gives us the strength to move our bodies powerfully. Spiritual exercise gives us the strength to just as powerfully sit inwardly still.
Physical exercise and spiritual exercise are two sides of the same coin—each designed to enhance our capacity for strength, balance, and resilience, but in profoundly different ways. Physical exercise is often seen as the cornerstone of vitality, enabling us to move powerfully through the world. It strengthens muscles, sharpens coordination, and fuels our capacity to act, to create, and to endure the challenges of daily life. Whether we are running, lifting, swimming, or practising yoga, physical exercise reminds us that our bodies are instruments of energy and movement, capable of achieving remarkable feats.

Yet, for all its power, physical exercise addresses only one dimension of our being. While it empowers our outward movement, it is spiritual exercise that teaches us the art of inward stillness. In a world that demands constant action, spiritual exercise—be it through meditation, mindfulness, prayer, or contemplation—becomes the antidote to restlessness. It is a discipline that strengthens our inner core, giving us the capacity to sit powerfully still amidst the chaos of life.

The stillness cultivated through spiritual practice is not a passive state; it is an active engagement with presence, awareness, and inner peace. Just as physical exercise requires effort, discipline, and consistency, so too does spiritual exercise demand dedication. Sitting still may sound simple, but anyone who has attempted meditation or deep reflection knows that it requires immense strength to quiet the mind, to resist the pull of distractions, and to simply be.

The beauty of these two forms of exercise lies in their complementary nature. When we engage in physical exercise, we prepare our bodies to be vessels of vitality and strength, capable of supporting the life we wish to live. When we engage in spiritual exercise, we prepare our minds and souls to navigate life with clarity, resilience, and grace. Together, they form a harmonious synergy, grounding us in both the physical and the spiritual dimensions of existence.

Imagine the athlete who trains not only their body but also their mind, cultivating focus and inner calm alongside physical strength. Imagine the spiritual seeker who complements their meditative practice with movement, recognizing that the body is a sacred temple deserving care and attention. Each reinforces the other, creating a balanced, whole individual who can move powerfully through the world and sit powerfully still within themselves.

In our journey through life, both forms of exercise remind us of an essential truth: strength is not merely about action but also about restraint, not merely about doing but also about being. Physical exercise enables us to push boundaries outward, while spiritual exercise allows us to explore the infinite inward landscape of our being.

So, let us embrace both. Let us run, jump, stretch, and dance with joy, celebrating the gift of our physical selves. And let us also sit, breathe, reflect, and listen, honoring the profound depths of our spiritual selves. For in the balance of movement and stillness, we find not only strength but also peace.

Breaking Through: Finding Strength in Brokenness.

Life often has a way of breaking us down in ways we never expect. A lost opportunity, a broken relationship, an unfulfilled dream—these moments can leave us feeling shattered, like fragments of our former selves. But what if these cracks are not signs of defeat? What if they are the universe’s way of preparing us for transformation?

When life breaks you, it’s not the end. It is a call to begin again, to be put back together in a way that aligns with a deeper purpose. Every piece of you that feels shattered is a piece that can find a new place, a new meaning, and a new strength. It’s in these moments of brokenness that the cracks allow the light to seep in. And it’s through this light that we begin to see ourselves differently.

Think of the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Instead of hiding the flaws, the cracks are embraced and highlighted, making the piece even more beautiful and valuable. Our own cracks, our own pain, have the potential to illuminate the beauty of our resilience, the strength of our spirit, and the courage it takes to keep going.

In our brokenness, we often find a profound wholeness. When we feel like we have nothing left, we discover an inner reservoir of courage and determination. We find the strength to rebuild, reimagine, and redefine what it means to be strong. Strength is not about being unbreakable; it is about being willing to grow and transform through our pain.

Remember, you are not broken; you are breaking through. Every tear, every scar, and every moment of doubt is a step toward a new version of you—one that is more authentic, aligned, and resilient than before. These moments teach us the art of letting go: relinquishing our preconceived notions about who we should be, and embracing the potential of our future selves.

The journey of being put back together is not always easy. It requires patience, self-compassion, and trust. Trust in the process, trust in the timing, and trust in yourself. Because when you look back, you’ll see that the moments that felt like endings were actually beginnings. The times you felt the most broken were the times you were being shaped into someone new.

So, when life breaks you, remember this: you are being prepared for a breakthrough. Let the light in. Embrace the cracks. Rebuild with courage. And know that in your brokenness lies your greatest strength.

Bring Your Desires to a Minimum: Buddha’s Teachings on the Root Cause of Suffering

Buddha’s profound wisdom offers timeless guidance for navigating life’s challenges. One of his central teachings, encapsulated in the Four Noble Truths, identifies desires as the root cause of suffering. By understanding this, we gain insight into why many of our struggles stem from the relentless pursuit of fulfilment through external means.

Desires, or cravings (“tanha” in Pali), are more than just wanting material possessions. They encompass our longing for status, relationships, pleasures, and even control over situations. Buddha taught that these cravings create attachment, leading to a cycle of dissatisfaction. The impermanent nature of the world means that what we desire is fleeting, and the loss or unavailability of these desires often plunges us into suffering.

Consider modern life: the endless scrolling through social media, yearning for the latest gadget, or striving for societal validation. While these pursuits might provide momentary happiness, they often leave us feeling empty or yearning for more. This endless loop mirrors the cycle of suffering (“samsara”) Buddha spoke of.

Minimizing desires is not about renouncing all aspects of life or becoming ascetic. Instead, it’s about discerning between what is essential and what is superfluous. When we reduce unnecessary cravings, we open ourselves to inner peace and contentment. This practice aligns with the concept of the Middle Way—a balanced approach that avoids both indulgence and extreme austerity.

By letting go of excessive desires, we:

Break free from attachments: We no longer hinge our happiness on external factors.
Cultivate gratitude: We appreciate what we have rather than focus on what we lack.
Foster mindfulness: We live in the present moment instead of yearning for an imagined future.
Practical Steps to Minimize Desires
Practice Gratitude Daily: Reflect on the abundance in your life. A gratitude journal can help shift focus from what you want to what you already have.

Adopt Mindful Living: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, especially when desires arise. Ask yourself: “Is this a need or a want?”

Simplify Your Environment: Declutter your physical space. Letting go of material excess often mirrors a release of mental and emotional baggage.

Embrace Contentment: Recognize that happiness comes from within. External achievements and possessions are fleeting; inner peace is lasting.

Engage in Meditation: Regular meditation helps calm the mind, making it easier to observe and detach from cravings.

The Joy of Letting Go
When we minimize desires, we experience liberation. Life becomes less about chasing what we don’t have and more about savouring what is present. Relationships deepen, stress diminishes, and clarity emerges. The journey towards reducing desires is not about deprivation but about rediscovering the essence of a fulfilling life.

Buddha’s teachings are an invitation to reflect on how desires shape our lives. As we bring our desires to a minimum, we step closer to a state of peace and freedom, embracing the joy of being rather than constantly doing or acquiring.

How are desires influencing your life? Can you take one small step today to let go of something that no longer serves you?

Last sunset and rainbow of 2024

As the rain began to fade and dawn approached, the world around me transformed into a masterpiece of contrasts. On one side, the setting sun dipped low, painting the horizon with hues of gold, orange, and crimson. On the other side, a brilliant rainbow arched across the sky, its colours vivid and alive. The air was filled with the scent of wet earth and the gentle hum of nature awakening. It felt as though the universe had orchestrated this moment just for me—a vivid reminder of life’s profound dualities.

The rain had been relentless, mirroring the storms I’ve faced in recent years. Its cold drops had seeped into my soul, dampening my spirit and clouding my vision. Yet, here I stood, watching the darkness recede, replaced by a spectrum of light and promise. The rainbow seemed to whisper a truth I had forgotten: even after the heaviest storms, beauty and hope can emerge. It reminded me that 2024 marks the end of a chapter filled with struggles and darkness, paving the way for new beginnings.

In that moment, the rainbow wasn’t just a phenomenon of nature; it was a metaphor for resilience and growth. Each color seemed to represent a piece of the journey—red for passion and courage, orange for the spark of creativity reignited, yellow for joy rediscovered, green for healing, blue for peace, indigo for introspection, and violet for the transformation that comes from embracing life’s challenges.

The setting sun, meanwhile, symbolized closure—a chance to lay to rest the doubts and fears that once shadowed my path. Its warmth seemed to embrace me, assuring me that it was okay to let go of what no longer served me. The duality of the scene—sunset and rainbow—felt like a perfect representation of life’s ebb and flow, the endings that make way for beginnings, and the struggles that shape us into who we’re meant to be

As I gazed at the rainbow, I felt a surge of gratitude for the journey I’ve travelled. The storms have tested me, but they’ve also strengthened me. They’ve taught me to find beauty in unexpected places and to trust that even in moments of darkness, light is waiting to break through. The rainbow became a promise—not just from nature, but from my own heart—that brighter days are ahead, that healing is possible, and that life’s most beautiful moments often come after its toughest trials.

Standing there, caught between the sunset and the rainbow, I made a silent vow to carry this lesson forward. To face 2025 with open arms and an open heart. To embrace the rain when it comes, knowing it’s only temporary and that it’s necessary for growth. To seek out the rainbows and sunsets, the small yet profound reminders that life’s journey is as beautiful as it is unpredictable.

In the end, the scene wasn’t just a reminder of the end of darkness. It was a celebration of life itself—a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the beauty of finding light, even when the skies are grey. Happy 2025 to everyone 💓