In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in stress, distractions, and the endless chase for what’s next. But what if there was a simple philosophy that could help us embrace life as it happens, allowing us to truly appreciate every experience? Enter Ichigo Ichie, a beautiful Japanese concept that encourages us to cherish every moment as unique and unrepeatable.
The phrase Ichigo Ichie translates to “one time, one meeting.” It embodies the idea that every encounter, every experience, and every moment happens only once and can never be exactly replicated. This philosophy is deeply rooted in Japanese culture, particularly in the traditional tea ceremony, where hosts and guests treat each gathering as a once-in-a-lifetime event, never to be repeated in the same way again.
By embracing Ichigo Ichie, we can transform the way we experience life, shifting our focus from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future to fully engaging with the present. This mindset allows us to cultivate gratitude, enhance our relationships, and find joy in even the simplest moments.
How to Apply Ichigo Ichie in Daily Life
Be Present: Instead of multitasking or letting your mind wander, give your full attention to the moment at hand. Whether you’re having coffee with a friend, reading a book, or watching the sunset, immerse yourself in the experience.
Let Go of the Past and Future—Ichigo Ichie remind us that every moment is fleeting. If something goes wrong, acknowledge it, learn from it, and move forward. If something goes right, pause and savour the happiness without rushing to the next thing.
Appreciate the People Around You: Each conversation and interaction is unique. Recognize the value in the time others share with you and treat those moments with care and gratitude.
Slow Down: Modern life often pushes us to move quickly and check things off a never-ending to-do list. Instead, take moments to breathe, observe, and enjoy the little things that make life meaningful.
See Beauty in the Ordinary The warmth of sunlight on your skin, the sound of laughter, or the taste of your morning tea—these small experiences become precious when viewed through the lens of Ichigo Ichie
Negative thoughts, overanalyzing, and regret often prevent us from enjoying life. But by embracing Ichigo Ichie, we can reframe our mindset.
When something unpleasant happens, remind yourself: this moment has passed, and I can learn from it.
When something beautiful happens, take a deep breath and acknowledge: this is a gift, and I will treasure it.
When interacting with others, focus on connection and kindness, knowing that this moment is special in its right
Life is a series of fleeting, beautiful moments. By adopting Ichigo Ichie, we can learn to appreciate each experience, cherish our relationships, and find joy in the present. It’s a gentle yet profound reminder to slow down, be mindful, and make every moment count. After all, this moment—right now—will never come again. So why not embrace it fully?
Put Your Mask on First: The Importance of Self-Help and Healing
If you’ve ever been on an aeroplane, you’ve heard the familiar safety instruction: “Put your mask on first before helping others.” While this directive is meant for emergencies, it holds a profound metaphorical truth applicable to life. In a world where responsibilities and obligations can overwhelm us, prioritizing self-care, healing, and personal growth is essential—not only for our well-being but also for our ability to support those around us.
Airlines instruct passengers to put their masks on first because if you run out of oxygen, you won’t be able to help others. This principle applies to life as well. If we neglect our well-being, we will eventually burn out, leaving us incapable of being effective partners, parents, friends, or colleagues.
Many people, especially carers, parents, and professionals, feel guilty for focusing on themselves. Society often praises self-sacrifice and labels self-care as selfish. However, prioritising yourself is not about neglecting others—it is about ensuring you have the strength and energy to contribute meaningfully to the lives of those around you.
Why Self-Help and Healing Matter
Emotional and Mental Resilience Neglecting mental health can lead to anxiety, depression, and exhaustion. Investing time in therapy, meditation, journaling, or personal development helps build emotional strength, allowing us to face life’s challenges with a clear mind and a steady heart.
Physical Well-Being Chronic stress, lack of sleep, and poor nutrition take a toll on the body. Prioritizing exercise, balanced meals, and rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. A healthy body is better equipped to handle daily demands and unexpected crises.
Stronger Relationships When we are well-rested and emotionally stable, we communicate better, set healthier boundaries, and nurture more meaningful relationships. Giving from a place of abundance rather than exhaustion creates deeper, more positive connections with others.
Personal Growth and Fulfillment Investing in self-help—whether through reading, learning new skills, or practicing mindfulness—enhances our sense of purpose and fulfillment. When we grow individually, we also become more capable of uplifting those around us.
How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt
Set boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. Protecting your time and energy is essential for long-term sustainability.
Schedule “Me Time.” Just like any important meeting, prioritize self-care routines—whether it’s a hobby, meditation, or a simple walk in nature.
Seek Support: Therapy, support groups, or talking to trusted friends can provide emotional relief and guidance.
Practice gratitude and mindfulness: Being present and appreciating small joys reduces stress and enhances overall happiness.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t just benefit you—it positively impacts everyone around you. A well-balanced, healthy, and fulfilled individual is better equipped to help, inspire, and uplift others. By putting your mask on first, you ensure that you can continue to show up for those who need you the most.
Next time you feel overwhelmed by life’s demands, remember the wisdom of that simple yet profound airline safety instruction. Take a breath, take care of yourself, and watch how your strength transforms not only your life but also the lives of those around you.
Pain Is a Promise That Life Always Keeps
Life is unpredictable, filled with highs and lows, joys, and sorrows. Yet, one thing remains certain—pain. It is the one promise life never breaks. No matter how much we plan, dream, or strive for happiness, pain finds its way into our journey. But rather than resisting it, what if we embraced it as a teacher?
Pain is not an enemy; it is a messenger. It forces us to pause, reflect, and grow. Heartbreak teaches us the value of love, failure humbles us into resilience, and loss reminds us of the beauty of presence. Every scar tells a story, not just of suffering but of survival.
We often seek comfort and security, believing that happiness is the absence of pain. But true wisdom comes from understanding that pain is not a detour—it is part of the path. It carves depth into our souls, builds strength in our character, and refines our purpose.
Instead of fearing pain, we must learn to sit with it, listen to it, and allow it to shape us. The greatest transformations often emerge from our darkest moments. Pain may be inevitable, but suffering is optional. It is how we respond to pain that defines us.
So, when life delivers on its painful promise, remember—it is not a punishment but a passage. Every wound holds the seed of wisdom, every loss leads to new beginnings, and every tear is proof that we have truly lived.
Pain is a promise, but so is healing.
The Unspoken Realization: Finding Solace in Self-Acceptance
We spend our lives pouring our hearts into the happiness of those we hold dear. Every smile we evoke, every problem we solve for them, and every effort we make is rooted in the desire to see them content. Yet, for many, there comes a moment of unsettling clarity—a realization that while we prioritize their joy, we were never truly a part of the equation of their happiness.
This realization can be jarring, even heartbreaking. We start to see that the people we gave our time, energy, and love may not have reciprocated with the same intensity. It isn’t that they were indifferent to our presence; rather, they were never as invested as we assumed. We cared deeply for them, but they may never have cared in the same way for us.
Why do we tie our sense of self-worth to how much others value us? From a young age, we’re conditioned to equate our happiness with the approval of others. We measure our significance through their smiles, their praises, and their acknowledgement. But what happens when those moments of appreciation don’t arrive?
For many, this absence becomes a silent hurt—a void that grows as we realize our sacrifices often go unnoticed. We start to question: Was it all worth it? Were our efforts misplaced? Why did we invest so much in people who were not capable of giving us the same in return?
The first step toward healing from this cycle is understanding that we can not control how others feel about us. Their priorities, their sources of happiness, and their ability to appreciate us are shaped by their own experiences and perceptions. Often, the lack of recognition isn’t malicious—it’s simply that they are preoccupied with their own lives and struggles, leaving little room to reflect on ours.
This realization, painful as it is, can also be liberating. It gives us permission to redirect our energy toward ourselves. Instead of chasing approval or happiness from others, we can begin to focus on what truly fulfils us.
What brings us joy?
What makes us feel alive?
How can we care for ourselves as deeply as we care for others?
Self-love isn’t selfish; it’s survival. It’s the act of reminding ourselves that our happiness doesn’t need validation from others. By prioritizing our well-being, we create a solid foundation for a healthier, more balanced life.
Letting go of the need to be a cornerstone in someone else’s happiness is not easy. It’s an emotional detox that requires patience, forgiveness, and resilience. But it is also one of the most rewarding journeys you’ll embark on. As you learn to let go, you free yourself from the invisible chains of expectation, allowing space for the people who truly value and uplift you to enter your life.
In the end, we must remember this: the love and effort we put into others is never wasted. It reflects our capacity to care, empathize, and connect. Even if the same energy wasn’t returned, it speaks volumes about who we are. And when we choose to direct that love inward, we discover a happiness that no one can take away.
It’s Better to Focus on What’s Right Than Who’s Right
In our fast-paced world, it’s common for disagreements to arise. Whether it’s in personal relationships, workplace settings, or broader societal issues, the focus often shifts to determining who is right rather than understanding what is right. This inclination to assign blame or victory can overshadow the larger picture—one that reveals deeper truths about the situation and the people involved.
Human nature often seeks validation. Being “right” feels like winning a moral, intellectual, or emotional victory. It can affirm our beliefs, protect our egos, and provide a sense of control.
Similarly, in conflicts, the urge to find someone to blame satisfies a need for resolution. Pinning fault on someone simplifies the issue—it gives us a sense of closure. But this tendency often does more harm than good, as it ignores the complexity of most situations.
Constantly pointing fingers or arguing over who is right can damage trust and goodwill. Instead of fostering understanding, it creates division and resentment.
When we focus on proving others wrong, we lose the opportunity to learn from differing perspectives. Growth requires humility and the willingness to be wrong sometimes.
Fixating on individuals or blame often prevents us from addressing the root cause of an issue. We risk overlooking systemic problems, situational nuances, or valuable lessons.
Taking a step back from the question of “who” and shifting the focus to “what” can lead to more constructive outcomes. For example:
In Relationships: Instead of arguing about who caused a misunderstanding, ask, “What went wrong, and how can we fix it together?”
In Work Conflicts: Focus on solving the problem rather than pointing out a colleague’s mistakes. Collaborative problem-solving builds stronger teams.
In Societal Issues: Acknowledge the complexities of the situation. For instance, instead of focusing on which group is at fault, delve into the systemic or historical causes behind the problem.
To Shift Your Perspective
Practice Empathy: Try to see the situation through another person’s lens. Their perspective might reveal truths you hadn’t considered.
Ask the Right Questions: Instead of asking, “Who is to blame?” Ask, “What can we learn from this? What steps will lead to a solution?”
Focus on Facts, Not Faults: Ground your judgment in reality. Sometimes, situations reveal uncomfortable truths that no one person is solely responsible for.
Stay Humble: Recognize that being “right” isn’t the ultimate goal. Strive for understanding, growth, and resolution instead.
It’s human to want to be right, but it’s wise to prioritize what’s right. By shifting our mindset from blame to understanding, we not only grow as individuals but also create a more harmonious environment in our personal and professional lives. The next time you find yourself in a conflict, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself: Am I focused on proving someone wrong, or am I seeking the truth and a solution? This simple shift can transform the way we engage with others and the world around us.
The Other Side of the Coin: Recognizing the Positives in Our Upbringing
In recent years, the conversation around inner child healing, past traumas, and difficult upbringing situations has gained significant traction. Social media is filled with stories, reels, and posts advocating for addressing childhood wounds and blaming upbringing for negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. While these discussions are valid and provide a platform for many to heal and find closure, there seems to be an alarming imbalance in the narrative.
It’s undeniable that our upbringing shapes us—our experiences, environment, and relationships – leave indelible marks on our personalities. However, it’s overly simplistic to assume that all the negative traits in us are solely a result of our parents’ mistakes. If our upbringing is responsible for our struggles, isn’t it also responsible for our resilience, our strengths, and the positive traits we carry?
Parents, like all human beings, are imperfect. They’ve faced their own challenges, navigated their own traumas, and often did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had at the time. Blaming parents exclusively for every flaw in our personalities is not only unfair but also reductive—it ignores the complexities of human relationships and the shared journey of growth between parents and children.
One concerning aspect of the current discourse is its potential impact on today’s generation. Many young individuals who may not have faced significant issues in their upbringing are being introduced to the idea that their parents are to blame for their smallest insecurities or setbacks. Instead of fostering understanding, this narrative risks creating unnecessary rifts between parents and children.
It’s important to distinguish between those who genuinely need to address childhood traumas and those who may be overanalyzing ordinary struggles as a result of societal trends. Not every disagreement or misunderstanding with parents stems from deep-seated issues. Sometimes, it’s just life.
Acknowledging the good in our upbringing doesn’t mean denying the challenges we’ve faced. It means looking at the bigger picture and appreciating the efforts, sacrifices, and love our parents gave us—however imperfectly.
Perhaps your parents taught you the value of hard work, kindness, or perseverance. Maybe they instilled in you a love for learning, creativity, or community. Even in households where trauma exists, there are often moments of joy, lessons learned, and strengths built that deserve recognition.
The Path Forward: Gratitude and Healing
Instead of solely focusing on what went wrong, let’s also consider: What went right? Reflect on the positive aspects of your upbringing and the values you carry forward.
What did your parents overcome? Recognize that they were individuals with their own struggles long before they became your parents.
How can we move forward together? Healing is a journey that involves both accountability and forgiveness. By fostering conversations that emphasize understanding, we can bridge gaps rather than widen them.
It’s time we balance the narrative around upbringing. By acknowledging both the good and the bad, we can promote healing, gratitude, and stronger relationships. Parents are not superheroes, nor are they villains—they’re human, just like us. Let’s move forward with compassion, for ourselves and for them, creating a dialogue that uplifts rather than divides.
Assumptions: The Silent Killer of Relationships
Assumptions are often seen as a mental shortcut, a way for our minds to make sense of the unknown. However, in relationships—whether personal or professional—they can act as silent killers, eroding trust, understanding, and connection. For me, the sting of assumptions is particularly sharp when people preemptively judge my reactions without ever engaging in a conversation. Their labels of me as a “difficult person” often feel less like reflections of who I am and more like projections of their own fears or misunderstandings. This is a sentiment I believe many can relate to, and it speaks to the broader issue of why communication must be the foundation of any relationship.
Why do people assume instead of asking? The answer often lies in comfort. Assumptions allow individuals to avoid the discomfort of potential conflict or awkwardness. If someone believes I might respond strongly to a topic, they may decide it’s easier to fill in the blanks with their own narrative rather than take the risk of exploring mine. Unfortunately, this act of self-protection often backfires, creating a wall between us. Instead of fostering connection, assumptions breed misunderstanding, resentment, and, at times, alienation.
When someone assumes how I’ll react, they’re not just skipping a conversation—they’re stripping me of the opportunity to express myself. Worse, when those assumptions are shared with others or used to define my character, they create an unfair and often inaccurate label. Being called “difficult” based on someone else’s unchecked assumptions feels like being judged for a crime I didn’t commit. It stings not just because it’s unjust but because it undermines the effort I put into building genuine relationships.
Communication: The Mantra for Connection
The antidote to assumptions is communication. It’s a simple yet powerful mantra: talk first, assume nothing. Open, honest conversations can clear the fog of misunderstanding. By asking questions and listening, we give each other the respect and space to be authentic. Communication requires vulnerability on both sides, but it’s a far more effective way to foster trust than relying on guesswork.
When someone takes the time to ask about my perspective rather than presuming it, I feel seen, heard, and valued. This isn’t about always agreeing or finding perfect harmony—it’s about creating a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.
Breaking the cycle of assumptions and labels starts with awareness. I strive to challenge assumptions I might make about others, hoping to inspire a similar approach in them. When faced with someone labelling me as “difficult,” I try to invite dialogue, even when it feels like an uphill battle. While I can’t control others’ perceptions, I can control how I respond—and I choose to respond with clarity and openness.
I suggest choosing Curiosity Over Assumption
Assumptions will always be the easier path, but they come at a cost: damaged relationships and lost opportunities for deeper connection. By choosing curiosity, we create room for understanding. If people could take a moment to talk instead of assuming, they might see not a “difficult” person but a thoughtful, passionate one eager to connect. Communication isn’t just the mantra—it’s the bridge that transforms relationships, one conversation at a time.
When Someone Walks Away After You’ve Addressed Their Behaviour.
It can be incredibly disheartening when someone chooses to walk away from you simply because you’ve expressed how their actions have made you feel. Whether it’s neglect, disrespect, or disregard for your boundaries, addressing these behaviours shouldn’t lead to the end of a relationship—yet, sometimes, it does.
When this happens, it’s essential to recognize that their reaction speaks volumes about their level of care and respect for you. Someone who truly values you would not respond to your vulnerability with avoidance or dismissal. Instead, they’d engage in honest dialogue, showing empathy and a willingness to address the problem. Walking away in these moments isn’t just avoidance; it’s an indicator that they may have never been fully invested in treating you with the respect and kindness you deserve.
This behaviour often ties into a pattern of gaslighting—subtly manipulating you into believing they cared deeply while consistently disregarding your feelings. Love and care are not just words; they are reflected in actions. A person who genuinely loves you wouldn’t walk away after causing you pain—they’d stay and try to make it right.
When you find yourself repeating the same concerns, explaining the same hurt, and asking for the same decency over and over, that isn’t a misunderstanding—it’s disrespect. People who truly love you feel your hurt as if it were their own. They adjust their actions because your happiness matters to them. On the other hand, those who knowingly repeat harmful behaviors are choosing their comfort or indifference over your well-being.
Letting go of people who habitually disrespect you or are indifferent to the pain they cause can feel daunting. But holding on to them will only drain you further. Never doubt yourself for standing up for your right to be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity. Seeking fairness in your relationships is not asking too much—it’s the bare minimum.
The problem isn’t that you brought up their hurtful actions; the problem lies in their unwillingness to acknowledge your feelings or show even a shred of compassion. Love is a two-way street, built on mutual respect and understanding. Without those foundations, it isn’t love—it’s convenience at your expense.
So, take heart in knowing your worth. You are not “too sensitive” or “too demanding” for expecting decency in your relationships. If someone walks away rather than owning up to their behaviors and working towards change, let them. Their departure clears space for people who will truly value you and treat you with the care you deserve.
Remember, you deserve relationships where your feelings matter. Never settle for less.
Letting Go: A Lesson in Love, Self-Worth, and True Compassion
There’s a paradox at the heart of love: the deeper it is, the more it requires us to let go. This is a lesson I’ve come to understand in the past few years—one that has been as painful as it is profound. Letting go of someone you love, truly love, isn’t about giving up on them. It’s about giving them the freedom to find themselves, their happiness, and their peace—even if it means being apart from you.
It’s easy to believe that holding on is the truest expression of love. After all, the world romanticizes the idea of fighting for the ones we care about, of doing whatever it takes to keep them in our lives. But sometimes, the bravest and most selfless act of love is to let go when someone asks for an exit.
Letting go is not an act devoid of heartbreak. It feels like a part of your soul is being ripped away. The ache of imagining a life without them is a sharp and unrelenting companion, and the void their absence creates can feel impossible to fill.
But as I’ve learned, the pain is a testament to the depth of the love you hold. It’s proof that your feelings are real and that the connection mattered. Yet, even amidst the hurt, there is a quiet strength in releasing them—because true love isn’t about possession. It’s about the freedom to choose.
When someone you love chooses to walk away, it doesn’t mean your love for them disappears. The physical distance doesn’t diminish the affection or care you hold in your heart. If anything, it redefines the way you express that love.
You continue to root for their happiness, even from afar. You hold onto the hope that they find the self-worth, joy, and peace they’re searching for. That kind of love transcends proximity—it becomes a love rooted in compassion and respect, not control or need.
The decision to let go often stems from understanding that their journey is their own. Maybe they need time to heal, rediscover themselves, or chase dreams they feel they can only pursue without you. It doesn’t make their departure easier to accept, but it brings clarity to their choice.
Sometimes, love can be overwhelming, especially if someone is struggling to find their own identity or purpose. In those moments, holding on too tightly can suffocate rather than support. Letting go becomes an act of faith—not just in them, but in the belief that love, in its purest form, is never truly lost.
In these past five years, I’ve learned that love is not about clinging to someone, even if your heart begs you to. It’s about trusting that if they are meant to be in your life, they will return when the time is right. And if they don’t, it doesn’t negate the beauty and value of what you shared.
Letting go taught me the power of selflessness. It showed me that love is not always about fulfilling your own needs or desires. It’s about prioritizing their well-being, even if it means stepping aside.
It also taught me resilience. Even in the face of loss, I learned to carry love in my heart without allowing it to shatter me completely. That love remains a part of me, shaping who I am and how I approach the world.
Letting go of the person you love most is a heart-wrenching experience, but it is also an act of profound courage and grace. It’s a recognition that love isn’t about possession but about freedom. It’s about honouring their journey, even if it means walking separate paths.
And so, while it hurts, I have learned to let go of love. To wish them peace, happiness, and self-discovery. To hold onto the love we shared, not as a tether, but as a reminder that true love doesn’t disappear—it evolves. Letting go is not the end of love; it is its ultimate expression.
Seizing the Moment: How to Capitalize on That One Opportunity to Make It Big
Life often presents us with fleeting opportunities—those rare, golden moments that have the potential to change everything. These opportunities don’t come with flashing neon signs or extended deadlines. They require courage, preparation, and an unwavering belief in your ability to seize the moment. If you’ve ever wondered how to make the most of such chances, here’s your guide to capitalizing on that one pivotal opportunity and taking your life to new heights.
Opportunities are like seeds—they contain immense potential but need action to grow. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t often boils down to recognizing the significance of a moment and acting on it. History is filled with stories of people who made it big by capitalizing on the right chance at the right time. From entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs to athletes like Michael Jordan, their success didn’t just come from talent—it came from seizing opportunities.
Not every opportunity will scream, “I’m the one!” So how do you identify the right one?
It Aligns with Your Goals: Look for opportunities that resonate with your long-term aspirations. If it feels like a stepping stone toward your dreams, it’s worth pursuing.
It Scares and Excites You: The right opportunity often pushes you out of your comfort zone. That mix of fear and excitement is a powerful signal.
It Feels Time-Sensitive: Many great opportunities are time-bound. If delaying action feels like losing something significant, don’t wait.
Luck, as they say, is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. To ensure you’re ready when your moment arrives:
Invest in Self-Development: Build the skills and knowledge necessary to excel in your field. Continuous learning prepares you for unexpected chances.
Stay Alert: Opportunities often come disguised as challenges or mundane tasks. Keep your eyes open, and don’t dismiss things that seem small.
Build a Network: The right connections can open doors you didn’t even know existed. Nurture relationships with people in your industry or areas of interest.
The moment is here—what now? Here’s how to maximize it:
Take Immediate Action: Hesitation can cost you dearly. Even if you don’t feel completely ready, move forward and figure things out as you go.
Give It Your All: Treat this opportunity as your only chance. Dedicate your energy, focus, and passion to making the most of it.
Embrace the Risks: Success often involves stepping into the unknown. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid of failure—it’s a natural part of growth.
Many people miss out on life-changing opportunities because they let fear hold them back. To overcome this:
Reframe Failure: See failure as feedback, not a dead end.
Visualize Success: Picture the best-case scenario and let that vision motivate you.
Lean on Mentors: Seek advice from those who’ve walked similar paths.
Some real-life examples:
Oprah Winfrey: She turned a local news anchor role into a launching pad for one of the most successful media empires in history.
J.K. Rowling: She submitted her manuscript to the publisher after the publisher until she got her break. That perseverance turned Harry Potter into a global phenomenon.
Elon Musk: From PayPal to SpaceX, Musk’s career is a testament to taking calculated risks and seizing opportunities.
Success doesn’t come in a straight line. One opportunity can lead to others, creating a domino effect of growth and progress. By seizing the moment, you not only change your current circumstances but also set the stage for a lifetime of opportunities.
The truth is, opportunities are everywhere—they’re waiting for you to notice them, prepare for them, and act decisively. Life’s biggest rewards are reserved for those who dare to leap when the moment calls. So, take the risk, trust yourself, and seize that one opportunity to make it big.
Because sometimes, all it takes is one moment to change everything.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 