Today marks my 32nd wedding anniversary.
For the last six years, I have spent this day alone.
Not because I chose distance but because distance was forced upon me, rewritten as “divorce,” spoken to the world as truth, even when no divorce was ever registered till today.
This day no longer represents celebration.
It represents reckoning.
26 Years of Unconditional Love For 26 years, I gave what I believed marriage meant:
Loyalty
Presence
Emotional labour
Support through storms, failures, ambitions, and family responsibilities
I held the home together.
I raised the children.
I stayed even when respect quietly left the room.
And yet, I was told I was absent.
I was blamed for the collapse of a relationship I never abandoned.
The Loneliest Years Were the Married Ones
The last six years taught me something painful but liberating:
You can be married and still be alone.
When your existence is dismissed,
when your voice is inconvenient,
when your sacrifices are invisible,
marriage becomes a place of emotional exile.
What followed was not just abandonment,
it was character and personality assassination.
My integrity was questioned.
My intentions were distorted.
My identity was rewritten in ways that suited another narrative.
The Moment of Clarity
With time, distance, and healing, I finally saw the pattern clearly:
Everything he accused me of
was a projection of what he was doing in reality.
Blame became a shield.
Accusation became camouflage.
My silence became his permission.
This realization didn’t come with anger.
It came with clarity.
And clarity is freedom.
What This Marriage Taught Me
This marriage was not a failure.
It was a lesson.
A lesson in:
How women are expected to endure quietly
How loyalty is often mistaken for weakness
How unconditional love without boundaries becomes self-betrayal
It taught me that:
Love without respect erodes the soul
Staying is not the same as being valued
Truth does not need agreement to remain true
Who I Am Now
Today, I no longer seek validation for the years I gave. I honour them. I no longer explain my silence. I understand it. I no longer carry shame for loving deeply.That was never my flaw.
My greatest achievement is not survival
it is self-recognition.
This Anniversary, I Choose Myself
This anniversary is no longer about what I lost.
It is about what I found.
My voice.
My dignity.
My truth.
And that is a love story worth remembering.
Emotional Security: Where Psychology Meets the Soul
A psychologically secure and spiritually grounded person does not need to step on others to feel worthy. They do not shame, blame, or diminish because their sense of self is not built on comparison.
From a psychological lens, emotional security comes from self-awareness and emotional regulation. Secure individuals are able to observe their thoughts and feelings without being consumed by them. When discomfort arises, they reflect rather than react. They take responsibility instead of projecting their inner conflicts onto others.
From a spiritual lens, this same security is rooted in inner alignment. A person connected to their inner self understands that harming another is harming the self. There is no need to dominate when you trust your own path. There is no urge to criticize when your worth is not up for negotiation.
Insecure people often live in survival mode psychologically and spiritually. Their nervous system is dysregulated, and their ego is constantly scanning for threats. Fault-finding becomes a coping strategy. Blame becomes a way to avoid inner work. Putting others down creates a temporary illusion of control over an inner chaos they haven’t learned to face.
Psychologically, this is projection.
Spiritually, this is disconnection.
Emotional intelligence develops when a person is willing to sit with their discomfort and ask, “What is this teaching me?” rather than “Who is responsible for how I feel?” This willingness to look inward is where healing begins both in the mind and in the soul.
True security is quiet.
It doesn’t need validation.
It doesn’t need to win.
It doesn’t need to wound.
When you encounter blame or emotional aggression, meet it with discernment rather than absorption. What is unhealed in others does not require a home within you. Staying anchored in self-respect and compassion is both a psychological boundary and a spiritual practice.
Healing is integration.
Strength is gentleness.
Awareness is freedom.
When psychology and spirituality meet, we stop fighting others and start understanding ourselves.
Forgiveness is Emotional Freedom: And Emotional Freedom is the Foundation of Manifestation
When Forgiveness Becomes Freedom, Your Future Finally Begins
We often hear spiritual teachers say let go, release, move forward… but no one really prepares us for the emotional storms that come before letting go. Forgiveness is not a moment. It is a deep internal shift. A sacred surrender. A conscious closing of a chapter you never wanted to write in the first place.
Forgiveness is not about excusing what happened, or pretending the pain didn’t shape you. It’s about choosing emotional freedom over emotional imprisonment.
And emotional freedom is powerful, it becomes the energetic soil from which your manifestation blooms.
Forgiveness is emotional freedom
When you hold onto resentment, anger, or hurt, you are energetically tied to the past. Your mind keeps replaying scenarios, your heart keeps reliving wounds, and your body keeps responding as if the trauma is still happening now.
You don’t just remember the past, you keep re-experiencing it.
Forgiveness unhooks the emotional charge.
Forgiveness disconnects you from the person or memory energetically. Forgiveness releases your nervous system from survival mode.
In that space, your inner world softens. Your heart expands. Your intuition begins to lead again.
Emotional freedom activates manifestation energy
Manifestation requires clarity, openness, and flow. But emotional wounds create energetic congestion. When you are stuck in emotional pain, your vibration is locked in fear, resentment, judgment, or hopelessness.
You can’t manifest from a closed heart.
You can’t manifest from unfelt pain.
You can’t manifest from emotional bondage.
When forgiveness unlocks emotional freedom, your frequency rises. Your energy opens. You move from survival into creation.
That energetic shift is what turns your intentions into reality.
Releasing the past makes space for the future:
Here’s a gentle truth, your future cannot begin until your past stops controlling your internal world. The past always wants to repeat itself, until you consciously release it.
We don’t move forward because time passes.
We move forward because emotion passes.
Forgiveness is the doorway.
Emotional freedom is the key.
Manifestation is the reward.
When you finally release what hurt you, you return your power to yourself. The future starts to unfold. Opportunities begin to show up. Love becomes possible again. Guidance becomes visible. That is when you finally step into alignment with your soul’s path.
A gentle reminder,
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
It doesn’t mean reconciling.
It doesn’t mean accepting toxic behaviour.
It means choosing your peace over your pain.
Your evolution over your wounds.
Your freedom over what they did.
Your life begins again the moment you release what was holding you back.
Sometimes We Break to Become Whole Again
Pain helps you grow. I wrote these words 13 years ago, not realizing that I was quietly preparing myself for the storms that were coming. Back then, these words felt like gentle wisdom. Today, they feel like truth, carved into my soul by lived experience.
Sometimes things must change so you can change. Life asked me to release roles, identities, and security. But the most difficult changes were the ones I faced as a woman and as a mother navigating expectations, holding everything together, and silently carrying emotional weight no one saw.
Sometimes you must break a little just to discover the woman underneath everything you were taught to be. I was taught to be strong yet silent, patient yet forgiving, giving yet selfless. But through heartbreak and loss, I found a different kind of woman inside me: one who knows her worth, one who can walk away, one who can rebuild herself without asking for permission or validation.
Motherhood broke me open in a different way. It teaches you a love that is tender and fierce. It also teaches sacrifice in a world that rarely notices the mother behind the responsibility. I gave my children everything I had love, time, dreams, years and yet life tested that identity too.
There were days I wasn’t just breaking as a woman, I was breaking as a mother. Moments when I questioned if I was enough, when love felt heavy, when exhaustion felt endless, when silence felt louder than any scream. And yet, every time, I rose. Not because I had all the strength because my daughters needed a mother who wouldn’t give up.
Motherhood didn’t weaken me. It shaped me.
Heartbreak didn’t destroy me. It polished me.
Pain didn’t break me. It rebirthed me.
Sometimes mistakes must be made so wisdom can be earned. The mistakes I made as a woman, the decisions I made as a mother they all carried lessons. Lessons about boundaries, self-respect, healing childhood wounds, ending generational patterns, and raising daughters with emotional awareness instead of emotional silence.
Sometimes you must overcome heartache so you can begin to follow your heart again. I learned that healing is not just for me it is for my daughters too. If I stay broken, they inherit my wounds. If I rise, they inherit my strength.
Today, I stand differently. Not just as a woman who survived, but as a mother who transformed pain into guidance heartbreak into wisdom and brokenness into awakening.
Looking back, I see now:
I wasn’t breaking, I was becoming.
As a woman.
As a mother.
As a soul on a divine journey.
All those years ago, when I wrote these words, I had no idea I was writing to the future version of myself the woman I would meet through storms, through love, through letting go, through motherhood, through growth.
Life prepares us long before we understand its reasons. And one day, we look back and whisper,
“I was becoming this all along.”
The Emotional Blueprint: How Your Inner State Shapes Your Reality
Your life is not shaped only by what you think, it is shaped by what you feel.
Emotions are not just passing sensations; they are the language of the subconscious mind. They form the energetic blueprint from which your life is created. You may consciously desire success, peace, love, or abundance but if your emotional frequency is tuned to fear, doubt, or unworthiness, your internal programming sends out a different signal to the universe.
This is why emotions matter. They are the real architects of your reality.
Emotions: The Root of Subconscious Programming
From childhood experiences to conditioned beliefs, your emotions store memories that your conscious mind may have forgotten. These emotional imprints silently guide:
What you believe you deserve
How you interpret situations
How you respond to challenges
Decisions you make without even realising
The kind of relationships and opportunities you attract
Your subconscious mind doesn’t respond to words, it responds to feelings.
That’s why true transformation begins with emotional awareness, emotional healing, and emotional alignment.
Affirmations Work, But Only When Emotions Support Them
Repeating “I am worthy” means nothing if deep down you feel unworthy. Affirmations become powerful when the emotional state behind them shifts.
You reprogram your subconscious not through repetition alone, but by allowing yourself to actually feel the vibration of the words.
When an affirmation is paired with emotion, gratitude, joy, hope, belief, it becomes a new energetic instruction. Over time, this signal rewires your internal patterns.
In other words:
Affirmations speak to the mind.
Emotions speak to the soul.
Together, they change your life.
Your Frequency, Your Vibe, Your Environment, they All Matter
You are always manifestingwith your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, and even the environment you live in.
Your vibration is influenced by:
The people you surround yourself with
The conversations you engage in
The energy of your home
Your daily habits
Your inner dialogue
The level of emotional safety you experience
If your environment drains you, your subconscious absorbs that frequency.
If your environment nourishes you, your subconscious expands.
Emotional states are contagious, so is energy. That’s why shifting your surroundings is often the first step in shifting your life.
You Are Always Co-Creating Your Reality
Manifestation is not magic, it is alignment.
When your inner world and outer world vibrate at the same frequency, life begins to flow. Opportunities open. Synchronicities appear. Your intuition strengthens. You attract what matches your energetic signature.
To manifest consciously, you must:
Understand your emotions
Heal what blocks you
Choose empowering thoughts
Speak aligned affirmations
Maintain a high vibration
Create supportive space
Trust the process
Your emotions are your compass.
Your vibration is your magnet.
Your subconscious is the engine.
Your environment is the soil.
Together, they shape everything you experience.
Final Thought
You don’t manifest what you want, you manifest who you are becoming. And who you are becoming is a reflection of the emotions you carry, the energy you embody, and the mindset you nurture every single day.
Choose your emotions with intention.
Align your vibration with your desires.
Reprogram your subconscious with love.
And watch your reality transform.
Holding joy and sorrow: A spiritual reflection on Anxiety
One of the greatest misconceptions in modern spiritual teachings is the belief that a single negative thought or a moment of anxiety will manifest negativity in your life. But the truth is being human means feeling everything.
We were never meant to experience only joy or only peace. We are here to live the full spectrum of emotions: joy and sorrow, clarity and confusion, hope and fear. It is impossible to walk through life without moments that shake us. And it is deeply unfair even spiritually unkind to believe that feeling anxious makes us energetically “low” ,”toxic” ,or “unworthy”.
As someone who is learning to hold both joy and sorrow in the same breath, I want to share something I’ve come to understand:
Anxiety is not a curse. It’s not a magnet for bad things.
Anxiety is a feeling of care. It’s often a sign that your heart is deeply invested in something, a dream, a person, a future and that you’re trying to protect what matters to you even if you can’t control the outcome.
It can arise from sensitivity, from trauma, from love. And YES, while anxiety can be overwhelming, but it does not define your destiny, it does not predict your future. Majority of the thoughts that come with anxiety will never come True, they are simply echoes of old fears trying to keep us safe.
What we can do is build a spiritual practice that brings us home to ourselves. We can come back again and again to a power greater than our fear.
These days, when anxiety rises,I don’t fight it, I meet it with a prayer. I remind myself of a deeper truth:
God’s plan is greater than my fear. Love is stronger than worry.
And in that moment something softens I remember that I am being guided, even when i can’t see the path clearly. I remember that my emotions are a part of my humanity not evidence of spiritual failure. I remember that every breath gives me a chance to begin again.
So if you are reading this in a moment of fear, confusion or overwhelm let this truth anchor you:
You are not your anxiety
You are not your worst thoughts
You are being held, guided, and carried even through this by the Universe
The Mind’s Filter: Why We Only See What We Want to See
We like to think of ourselves as rational beings — that we see the world as it is. But the truth is, we see the world as we are. Our minds are not passive recorders of reality; they are active editors. Every moment, the brain filters, selects, and interprets information to fit a story it already believes. What we call “truth” often becomes a reflection of what we want to be true.
Psychologists call this confirmation bias, the tendency to favor information that aligns with our existing beliefs while ignoring or discounting evidence that challenges them. It’s the reason why two people can experience the same event and walk away with entirely different conclusions. One sees hope, another sees failure; one sees love, another sees manipulation. The difference lies not in the event, but in the lens through which it was perceived.
This selective perception isn’t entirely our fault. The brain evolved to seek safety and consistency, not necessarily truth. When new information threatens our sense of self, relationships, or worldview, the subconscious mind often distorts it, to protect us from emotional discomfort. We filter reality to maintain internal stability.
But while this mental defense may provide short-term comfort, it can also trap us. It blinds us to growth, empathy, and understanding. When we only believe what we want to believe, we stop listening to others, and to ourselves.
Awareness is the first step toward breaking free from this illusion. To pause and ask:
“What if my perception isn’t the whole truth?”
“What belief am I protecting by refusing to see another perspective?”
True wisdom comes not from being right, but from being open to being wrong, to being challenged, and to seeing beyond our biases. When we allow our minds to expand beyond the familiar story, we don’t just see more of the world we see more of ourselves.
From “Stupid Housewife syndrome ” to Master’s Graduate: Rewriting My Life Story
There are some labels we never asked for, but somehow they get stitched into our skin.
Mine was “stupid housewife.”
It was a name given to me long before I even understood what it meant a gift from a patriarchal culture where a woman who speaks, questions, or dreams is seen as a threat. In a world where obedience was praised and silence was expected, my curiosity was treated as rebellion. My education, instead of being celebrated, was mocked. My ability to think out of the box made me “too much.”
And my voice? That made me “difficult.”
But life has a way of circling back. Two years ago, when I walked onto my university campus for my very first master’s class, that painful phrase echoed in my head like a shadow I couldn’t outrun. Stupid housewife. It whispered as I found my classroom. It followed me into lectures. It tugged at the edges of my confidence each time an assignment felt too big or a concept felt too unfamiliar. But I kept going. Not to prove them wrong but to prove myself right.
Week after week, class after class, I began to reclaim the parts of me that were buried under years of being underestimated. I learned, I grew, I evolved. Some nights I studied with tears in my eyes, feeling the weight of every stereotype that had ever crushed me. Other nights, I felt a surge of pride knowing that I was building a life that I chose.
And then last week, I stood in my convocation gown. The same words echoed again. But this time they didn’t land on wounded skin. They landed on strength.
Instead of hearing “stupid housewife,” I heard my own voice rise inside me:
“I did it.
I am worthy.
I am not stupid.
I never was.”
That moment was not just a graduation.
It was a liberation.
Every step I took across that stage carried the weight of the women who were silenced, discouraged, mocked, or dismissed. Every breath I took was a reminder that patriarchy does not get the final word, we do. And my degree, became a symbol of defiance, resilience, and self-belief.
To every woman who has ever been labeled, belittled, or boxed in:
You are not what they called you.
You are not the limits they placed on you.
You are not the story they tried to write for you.
You are allowed to rise at any age.
You are allowed to dream again.
You are allowed to reinvent your life even if it scares others.
Today, I stand tall not because they finally see my worth, but because I finally refuse to let their ignorance define me.
I am not a “stupid housewife.”
I am a woman who broke through the walls built around her.
I am a graduate.
I am resilient.
I am enough.
And so are you.
When the Storm Hit, I Saw Who Truly Stood With Me
Life has a way of revealing truths that remain hidden during our calmest seasons. When everything is smooth, people show us the version of themselves they’re proud of , the version they want us to see. But it’s during the storms, the unpredictable upheavals, that their real character quietly rises to the surface.
I learned this in the most painful way.
When COVID hit, the world felt like it was falling apart. Jobs were lost, businesses collapsed, routines vanished, and families everywhere were forced into survival mode. We faced a financial downturn, and like many others, we were shaken. But what hurt the most was not the loss of incomeit was the loss of someone I once believed would stand beside me no matter what.
My husband chose the lockdown as an opportunity to take me out of his life.
A time when the world was shutting down and fear was everywhere, he chose to shut the door on me too. When I needed partnership, he walked away. When I needed strength, he withdrew his. When the storm hit us, he didn’t stay to rebuild he used the storm as an exit route.
And that is when I realised a truth that became my turning point:
Someone who abandons you in their own storm will never be able to weather yours.
Someone who is not loyal to themselves can never be loyal to you.
For a long time, I blamed myself.
Was I not enough?
Was I too much?
Did I fail, or was I the reason?
But with time, as the dust settled, I realised something deeper: His decision had nothing to do with my worth and everything to do with his own inability to face life, responsibility, and truth.
Crisis doesn’t create character it reveals it.
A strong soul stands beside you, even shaking.
A weak soul escapes, even when you are holding on.
What he did was abandonment, yes. But it was also clarity.
It showed me:
Who he truly was behind the façade
What he feared facing
How shallow the foundation really had been
How deeply I had been carrying the emotional load alone
And in that painful realisation, something unexpected happened:
I found myself.
I learned that I could survive what I never imagined surviving.
I learned that I could rebuild with my own hands, my own energy, my own strength.
I learned that love does not mean losing yourself for someone who never knew how to value you.
Most importantly, I learned that being left behind doesn’t mean you are unworthy it means you were meant to walk forward without the dead weight that was holding you down.
Today, when I look back, I no longer see abandonment as a wound. I see it as a door that was necessary to close. Some people exit your life the moment responsibility enters because they were never meant to be part of your destiny beyond the easy days.
The storm didn’t break me.
It broke the illusion.
And from that truth, I rebuilt a stronger, wiser version of myself.
To anyone going through a season of loss or betrayal, remember this:
Those who stand with you only in sunshine were never your companions.
Those who walk away during the storm were never meant to walk into your future.
And those who stay those rare souls are the ones who truly understand what love, loyalty, and partnership mean.
I now live with this quiet strength:
If you leave me during my hard time, you don’t deserve me in my good time.
And if you abandon me during your own uncertainties, you were never trustworthy enough to walk this life with me.
Stand Tall: The Gita’s Lesson on Fighting for Your Rights and Truth”
There comes a time in everyone’s life when staying silent feels safer than speaking up when bowing down to what’s wrong seems easier than standing tall for what’s right. But silence, as the Bhagavad Gita reminds us, is not peace. It’s surrender to fear.
When Arjuna stood on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, he was torn between duty and emotion. He wanted to walk away. But Lord Krishna told him something powerful “This is your Dharma, Arjuna. Stand up and fight, not out of anger, but out of purpose.”
The Gita’s message isn’t about war it’s about inner strength. It’s about knowing when to stop running from your truth. Life will always test you through people who misuse power, through unfair treatment, through moments when you question your worth. But those are your Kurukshetra moments your chance to rise above fear and doubt, and claim your Haq, your right to live with dignity, respect, and self-belief.
Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean becoming hard or ruthless. It means refusing to let wrong define your destiny. It means knowing your values and not bending just to be accepted. When you choose truth over comfort, courage over silence, and self-respect over approval you step into your power.
The Gita teaches us: Act with integrity, without worrying about the results. Because real victory isn’t about defeating others it’s about defeating your own hesitation.
So fight the battles that matter the ones that make you grow. Raise your voice when something feels unjust. Defend your boundaries with grace. And never forget Krishna stands with those who stand for truth.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 