We like to think that the chapter is closed once we’ve forgiven someone. But now and then, a thought sneaks in: Did they ever regret what they did to me? After everything — the loyalty, the honesty, the years of showing up — how could they just walk away or betray that?
And suddenly, we’re questioning ourselves: If I still think about it, does that mean I haven’t truly forgiven them?
Not necessarily.
Forgiveness is a decision. It’s choosing to let go of the need for revenge, the weight of anger. But it doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It doesn’t mean the memories stop surfacing or that the questions stop coming. Asking whether someone ever felt remorse isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you cared deeply. It’s the echo of your own integrity bouncing around the silence they left behind.
Regret is a human thing — we all want to believe that when we give our best, it matters. When we lose something or someone because of betrayal or cruelty, the other person feels it too. So when that doubt surfaces — when you wonder if they ever truly understood what they lost — it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It means you’re still healing.
Forgiveness is about you, not them. It’s something you do so you can move forward, not so they can feel better. But healing isn’t a straight line. Some days, you’re fine. Other days, the question hits you like a wave: Did it mean nothing to them?
That question doesn’t make you bitter. It makes you human.
The truth is, you might never know if they regret it. And maybe that’s what hurts most — the silence, the lack of acknowledgement. But their regret, or lack of it, doesn’t define your worth. Your loyalty, your honesty — that was real. And nothing they did can take that away from you.
So no, wondering doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven them. It just means you’re still reckoning with the cost. And that’s part of healing, too.
Healing is a journey, not a destination.
When Love Has Miles Between It: My Truth About Long-Distance Marriage
Long-distance relationships (LDRs) aren’t just about miles—they’re about effort, timing, and emotional grit. From the outside, people often romanticize them. But on the inside, it’s much more complicated. Most couples don’t talk about how hard it gets—not just the distance, but what happens when you’re finally in the same room again.
I know this firsthand.
My husband and I were together for 26 years. But if you count the time we spent side by side, it adds up to 15 years. He was often away for work, and I held down everything else—our kids, the house, the office, life itself. I had no choice but to step into every role. I became both mother and father. I had to be strong, and sometimes that strength came across as anger. I know I wasn’t always easy. But I was doing my best to keep everything from falling apart.
When he came home, he wanted to step in—but on his terms. We’re both independent. We’re both strong-willed. And when two dominant personalities try to share space again after long stretches apart, it’s not always a warm reunion. It’s more like two tectonic plates trying to align. There was love, yes—but also friction. He often called me difficult. He judged me for being too strict, too serious, too much. But he didn’t see what it took to survive without him.
Looking back now, after our separation for 5 years, I can admit something I didn’t want to see before: I was choosing us, but he wasn’t. I believed my love could carry both of us. I thought it was enough. But his actions told a different story. He was critical, distant when present, and made me feel I was constantly falling short. I started doubting myself. I started blaming myself.
It took me time—and space—to realize the truth. His judgment didn’t come from clarity. It came from his own unresolved issues. He was dealing with a lack of self-love and self-respect, and instead of facing that, he projected it onto me.
What I’ve Learned from Long-Distance Marriage
Communication is more than just check-ins. It’s not enough to know someone’s safe or busy. Emotional connection has to stay alive, and that takes deep, honest talk.
Reunions aren’t always romantic. Being apart builds habits. Being together again means unlearning and adjusting—and that’s often uncomfortable.
Love isn’t enough if respect is missing. One person can’t carry the whole weight of a relationship. It has to be mutual—effort, care, patience, all of it.
Judgment from your partner is not love. Constant criticism is a reflection of their inner conflict, not your worth.
Your survival instincts can turn into self-neglect. Just because you can do it all alone doesn’t mean you should have to.
To Anyone in a Long-Distance Relationship Right Now
You are not too much. You are not too hard to love. And you are not wrong for needing effort, respect, and emotional safety in return.
If you feel alone in your relationship, don’t ignore that feeling. If you’re the only one doing the emotional heavy lifting, pause and ask yourself: What am I giving up to keep this going?
Love should never cost you your self-worth.
You deserve partnership, not performance. You deserve to be met halfway—not just when it’s convenient, but consistently. And if someone can’t give you that, it’s not your failure. It’s your wake-up call.
Be honest with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And above all, don’t shrink to fit someone else’s comfort.
You’re worth more than being “managed.” You’re meant to be loved fully—for all that you are.
Now’s the Time to Move Forward
If you’ve been stuck in a rut—mentally, emotionally, creatively—this is your sign to shake things up. The fog is clearing, and new options are on the table. The confusion about what’s next? It’s starting to lift. You don’t need to have everything figured out—you just need to start.
Progress doesn’t come from waiting for perfect conditions. It comes from taking small steps consistently. One small decision can create a ripple effect. Say yes to something different. Apply for that opportunity. Start the project you’ve been putting off. Reach out to someone who inspires you. These aren’t just tasks—they’re shifts in momentum.
What matters now is movement. The goal isn’t instant transformation. It’s forward motion. And when you move, even in small ways, your mindset starts to shift, too. You build confidence. You create proof that change is possible. You stop feeling stuck because you’re no longer standing still.
Don’t talk yourself out of it with fear or doubt. Not everything has to be crystal clear to be worth pursuing. Trust your gut. If something feels like a step in the right direction, it probably is. You can course-correct as you go. The important thing is going.
This is how you break out of stagnancy: by acting, not waiting. By choosing progress over perfection. You’ve got more control than you think—you just have to claim it. One decision. One step. That’s how it starts.
The chance to do something new is here. Don’t let it pass. Use it. Build on it. You don’t need to be fearless—just committed. Your future isn’t built in giant leaps. It’s built in small, consistent wins. And the first one starts now.
I Choose Me
I am worthy. Of love. Of respect. Of joy. Of a life that feels good in my soul—not just one that looks good on the outside. I don’t need to justify this. I don’t need reasons. Simply being here is enough.
But life doesn’t always make it easy to hold on to that truth.
Especially as women, we’re taught to give endlessly, to smile through pain, and to dim our light so others don’t feel insecure. We carry everyone else’s weight and then blame ourselves when we collapse.
I’ve done that. I’ve explained myself one too many times. To friends. To family. To a society that seems determined to make me feel like I’m too much—or not enough.
I’ve been surrounded by people who claim to care but seem to thrive on cutting me down. People who see my confidence, my energy, my presence—and instead of celebrating it, try to chip away at it.
Maybe they’re intimidated. Maybe they’re envious. I don’t know. I no longer care.
Today, I stopped seeking permission to be whole. I take back my power. I choose myself—not from ego, but from love. Real unconditional love. The kind I’ve always given so freely to others, and now, finally, to me.
If you’re meant to walk this journey with me, you will. If not, go in peace. My heart holds no hatred.
I am here to live fully. Loudly. Unapologetically.
I am done shrinking.
if you feel this too, know you’re not alone. Let’s stop apologising for existing. Let’s start choosing ourselves—together.
We all are responsible for our own suffering. Stop blaming and take responsibility
Blame is an easy escape, yet it never grants true freedom. Instead, it traps the mind in a cycle of false perception, reinforcing the illusion that suffering is caused by external forces. It’s tempting to believe that someone else’s words, actions, or choices are responsible for pain, but what if suffering is not about what happened, but rather how it is perceived, processed, and held onto?
The mind weaves intricate narratives, constructing stories around wounds and assigning fault. It clings to pain, attaching emotions to past events, making them feel ever-present. But the moment blame is given away, so is power. Blame directs focus outward, leaving peace dependent on whether someone else changes, apologizes, or makes amends. But what if peace was never theirs to give? What if it has always been a personal choice?
No one can control the actions of others. People will make mistakes. They will be unfair, they will disappoint, and they may never seek to repair the damage they’ve caused. Yet, what happens next—the emotions carried forward, the way the experience is framed, and the meaning assigned to it—remains a choice. True strength is found in recognizing that suffering is not created by external events but by the mind’s attachment to what cannot be changed.
Taking responsibility for one’s emotions is not about excusing those who have hurt us. It is about reclaiming power. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. It’s the decision to view hardships as lessons rather than burdens, to shift from victimhood to personal growth. The world will not always be just, but inner peace is not shaped by the fairness of life—it is shaped by perception and response.
Letting go of blame does not mean invalidating pain. It means refusing to let past hurts dictate the future. It is the realization that life is not something that simply happens to you but something that is actively shaped by you. In every moment, there is a choice: to remain trapped in resentment or to step into empowerment.
Freedom begins when responsibility is embraced. Peace is not granted by others; it is cultivated within. In the end, the only true control is over oneself. That is where real strength—and true liberation—is found.
Optimism and Humour: The Grease and Glue of Life
Life is unpredictable, often throwing challenges our way that test our resilience and spirit. In moments of adversity, two essential qualities—optimism and humour—become grease and glue that help us navigate hardships. They not only keep us moving forward but also bind us together, making even the darkest times bearable.
History and personal experiences alike have shown that people who maintain a positive outlook and a sense of humour endure struggles with greater ease. During times of captivity, oppression, or personal crisis, optimism fuels the hope that sustains us, while humour offers a momentary escape, allowing us to breathe even in suffocating situations.
Imagine a prisoner of war or someone facing an intense personal battle—without the ability to find light in the darkness. Survival would feel insurmountable. Many survivors of hardships have shared that it was their ability to laugh, even at their misfortunes, that kept them sane. Humour does not erase pain, but it provides a coping mechanism that softens its weight. Similarly, optimism doesn’t ignore reality, but it shifts the focus toward solutions, possibilities, and a better tomorrow.
In everyday life, we see the power of these two forces in our relationships, workplaces, and personal journeys. A tough job, a failing relationship, or even an unexpected crisis can feel overwhelming, but a lighthearted joke or an unwavering belief in better days can transform the situation. Optimism and humour remind us that no matter how difficult the road is, we can endure and even thrive.
Without these essential traits, life would be rigid and unforgiving. But with them, we find the strength to survive, connect, and ultimately embrace the beauty of existence.
On Life’s Journey: Faith, Virtue, Wisdom, and Mindfulness
Life is a journey—unpredictable, sometimes turbulent, yet profoundly transformative. Along this path, we seek guidance, comfort, and protection to navigate the uncertainties and challenges that arise. Just as a traveller requires sustenance, shelter, illumination, and security, we, too, need essential elements to support our spiritual and emotional well-being. Faith, virtuous deeds, wisdom, and mindfulness serve as the pillars of a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Faith, in its purest form, nourishes the soul. It is not merely belief in a higher power but a deep trust in the process of life itself. Faith provides strength during adversity, reminding us that even in darkness, a dawn will arrive. It fuels resilience, encouraging us to keep moving forward despite obstacles. Without faith, we risk being consumed by doubt and despair. But with it, we find the courage to persevere, knowing that every challenge holds a hidden blessing.
In life’s ever-changing weather, virtuous deeds act as our shelter. Kindness, compassion, honesty, and generosity create a protective space around us. The good we do for others ultimately becomes the foundation of our own peace and security. When we live with integrity and serve with sincerity, we build relationships that provide warmth in times of loneliness and protection against the storms of life. A life lived in virtue offers more than external comfort; it grants internal serenity.
Wisdom illuminates our journey, helping us see clearly in the face of confusion and uncertainty. It is the light that guides our decisions, enabling us to distinguish between illusion and reality. Without wisdom, we may find ourselves stumbling in ignorance, making choices that lead to suffering. With wisdom, we embrace life’s lessons, learning from experiences and growing in understanding. It empowers us to walk the path with awareness, grace, and discernment.
As night falls, right mindfulness becomes our safeguard. It is the practice of being present, observing our thoughts without judgment, and responding rather than reacting. Mindfulness shields us from anxiety about the future and regrets from the past. It teaches us to rest in the moment, to find peace within, and to cultivate gratitude. With mindfulness, we navigate the darkness without fear, knowing that our inner awareness will lead us safely through.
Life’s journey is not without trials, but with faith to sustain us, virtue to shelter us, wisdom to guide us, and mindfulness to protect us, we walk forward with strength, clarity, and peace.
The Power of Human Bonds: What Truly Connects Us
In a world that often feels fast-paced and disconnected, the bond between people remains one of the most powerful forces shaping our lives. Whether through friendship, love, or shared beliefs and experiences, human connections give us a sense of belonging, purpose, and strength. But what makes these bonds so strong, and why do they matter?
At the core of human bonding lies a mix of biology, psychology, and emotion. The hormone oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” plays a key role in strengthening relationships by fostering trust and emotional intimacy. Additionally, shared experiences—both joyful and challenging—deepen connections by creating a sense of mutual understanding.
Human connections come in many forms, each with its own depth and significance:
Friendship Bonds: True friends provide support, laughter, and companionship, making life’s highs more joyful and lows more bearable.
Familial Bonds: Family relationships shape our values, provide unconditional love, and offer a lifelong sense of security.
Romantic Bonds: Love is one of the strongest emotional connections, built on trust, respect, and shared dreams.
Shared Experience Bonds: People who go through challenges or major life events together—such as teammates, colleagues, or survivors—often develop deep, unbreakable ties.
Healthy human connections have profound effects on our well-being. Studies show that people with strong relationships tend to live longer, experience less stress, and have greater overall happiness. Emotional support from loved ones also enhances resilience, helping us navigate life’s difficulties with greater ease.
While some connections form naturally, maintaining them requires effort. Here are a few ways to nurture your relationships:
Communicate openly: Honest conversations build trust and understanding.
Spend quality time: Shared experiences create lasting memories.
Show appreciation: Small gestures of gratitude strengthen connections.
Offer support: Being there for someone in tough times reinforces the relationship.
In an increasingly digital world, it’s easy to overlook the importance of genuine human connections. But at the heart of a fulfilling life are the bonds we create and nurture. Whether through deep friendships, family ties, or shared experiences, these relationships shape our happiness, resilience, and sense of belonging. Strengthening them isn’t just an option—it’s essential for a meaningful life.
How do you nurture the bonds in your life? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments
The Power of Choice: A Gift to My Daughters
I did my best to raise my daughters with the belief that freedom of choice is one of the greatest gifts a person can have. I wanted them to embrace who they are, stand firm in their values, and walk their paths without fear or hesitation. I never wanted them to feel confined by expectations, traditions, or the weight of others’ opinions. Instead, I hoped they would grow with the confidence to decide what truly aligns with their hearts and souls.
But with freedom comes responsibility. Every choice carries a ripple effect—shaping who they become, influencing their relationships, and defining their journey in life. I hope they can see that the choices they make today will echo into their future. The way they treat others, value themselves, and make their own decisions will ultimately mould their happiness and fulfilment.
Life will not always present easy choices. Some will bring immediate joy, while others will require sacrifice, patience, and courage. Some will test their values, and some may even lead to regret. Yet, it is in those moments of reflection that growth happens. I hope they understand that mistakes are not failures but lessons—stepping stones to becoming wiser, stronger, and more compassionate.
Above all, I hope they never feel powerless. No matter how life unfolds, they always have the power to choose again—to learn, to heal, and to change direction if needed. My wish for them is simple: to always choose in alignment with their truth, knowing that their choices are the brushstrokes of the masterpiece that is their life.
YOLO: You Only Live Once – Make It Count
“You Only Live Once”—a phrase often thrown around casually, but it carries a profound truth. Life is fleeting, unpredictable, and offers no do-overs. The idea behind YOLO is simple: seize the moment, take risks, and live without regrets. But does living once mean living recklessly? Not necessarily.
The Balance Between Risk and Responsibility-
Many associate YOLO with spontaneous adventures, reckless decisions, and throwing caution to the wind. While there’s value in stepping outside of your comfort zone, true YOLO is about intentional living. It’s about making choices that enrich your life rather than jeopardize it. Taking that trip you’ve always dreamed of? That’s YOLO. Blowing your savings on an impulse buy? That’s just poor planning.
One of the biggest obstacles in life is fear—fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown. People often put off their dreams, waiting for the “right time” that never comes. YOLO is a reminder to act now. Start the business. Move to the new city. Express your feelings. Fear fades; regret lasts.
Society often pushes the idea that success is measured in possessions—cars, houses, and designer clothes. But when looking back, people rarely cherish things; they cherish experiences. YOLO is about prioritizing moments that bring joy, growth, and fulfilment. Travel, learn a new skill, and spend time with loved ones—these are the things that truly matter.
YOLO isn’t just about personal gain. If you only live once, why not leave the world better than you found it? Help others, be kind, and make a difference. Your actions, no matter how small, can create a ripple effect that outlives you.
Mistakes are inevitable, but dwelling on them is optional. Every experience—good or bad—teaches something valuable. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as part of growth. Regret often stems from things left undone rather than things attempted.
YOLO is not a justification for recklessness but a call to live with purpose. It’s about making each moment meaningful, stepping outside of comfort zones, and ensuring that when the final chapter closes, you can say, “I truly lived.” So go ahead—take the chance, chase the dream, and make it count. After all, you only live once.
SELF LOVE AND SOUL HEALING 